mTavar gverdze

 

gza naTeli cnobierebisken

 

nawili 03 - "survilebi"

 

Tavi 03-02: "Semoqmedebis ganmarteba da magaliTebi"

 

sarCevi:

03-02-01)– "raRaca";

03-02-02)– "Sexvedra";

03-02-03)– "wiTeli mocvi gemrieli kenkraa"

 

"Semoqmedebas" iseTi sityvebis, bgerebis, fiqrebis, saxeebis da a.S. Seqmnis sasixarulo survilis realizebas vuwodeb, romlebic, Tavis mxriv, kaSkaSad rezonirebs ga-sTan.

 

03-02-01) "raRaca"

Carlz darvini 1809 wels daibada. igi gamoCenili mecnieria, romlis naSromSic evoluciis Teoria pirvelad iyo Camoyalibebuli da SemuSavebuli. 1859 wels gamoqveynebulma, am Teoriam, imdroindeli samecniero wreebis mxardaWeris miuxedavad, RvTismetyvelTa mxridan gaafTrebuli Tavdasxmebi ganicada. darvins sxva samecniero naSromebic ekuTvnis. igi vestminsteris saabatoSia dakrZaluli. RmerTma dagvafaros, enciklopediis aseTi abzaci gavxdeT.

rodesac dRes diliT saxlidan gamovdiodi, uceb dilis gansakuTrebuli suni vigrZeni. es suni mowmobda, es suni maxsenebda, es suni pasuxis gacemas momiwodebda.

gamaerTianebeli sibrZne aris ugunuroba, uazroba da sisulele. moralizmi, pietismi, solifsizmi, avtomatizmi, xorcsakepi, fanjris rafa, mocimcime televizori - es rigi usasruloa, es wyobileba hipnoturia, es wesrigi sasikvdiloa. Seamowme fuli salarodan gausvlelad. myidveli yovelTvis marTalia. kanoni mkacria, magram es xom kanonia. nu aZlev mas sababs, ar eCxiro iq, sadac araa saWiro, nu ityvi "hop", nu aRviZeb ubedurebas. mzad iyavi. Svidjer gazome. miyvars sicocxle, miyvars sinaze, miyvars diliT loginSi gaWimva, miyvars martoobis rogorc saSveli tanjvis SegrZneba, romlis naWuWSi xandaxan vercxlis Zafi gaibrwyinebs, romelsac amoucnobicken mihyavxar.

Sexede, rogor SeeTavseba erTmaneTs yviTeli abaJurebi, Zveleburi aveji, ovaluri suraTebi ovalur CarCoebSi da yvavilebis axali Taiguli iaponur larnakSi. ai, Cemi oTaxi, moxerxebulad ganlagdiT.

am betonis kedlebs kbilebiT gadavRrRnidi. momeciT, SevWam am vazas, am xalaTs faCuCebianad, am samoTxis tyes. cofi morCilebis samosSi. SeSlili mZvinvareba. ras fiqrobs ZaRli, rogor izrdeba fiWvi, sad cxovrobs zRarbi - Cvens garSemo gaadamianurebuli bunebaa, sentimentaluri uZlurobis sazizRari moCvenebebia. me amas sxvagvarad vuyureb. ZaRli - mas sveli cxviri aqvs, mxrebs aiCeCavs, kudi moqnevis zRvarzea, Tvalebi eSmakuria. fiWvi - mas sveli cxviri aqvs, mxrebs aiCeCavs, kudi moqnevis zRvarzea, Tvalebi eSmakuria. yvelafer amas sxvagvarad vuyureb. vuyureb, da amaSia momentis arsi. ar vcxovrob, da amaSia sicocxle, ar vsunTqav, da amaSia Cemi sunTqva. sxvagvarad rogor SeiZleba, iyos? msubuqi Rimili, romelmac Tvalebs awyda, rogorc koconis kvamli, gamasufTaveblad da mtkivneulad SemaRwevs.

viqnebiT, gavxdebiT, bevrni varT, cotani, maT undaT, Svidi rvaze, ratomaa iseTi rTuli, nuTu araa? ara. mgonia, ara. Cven vuTvalTvalebT. Cven yovelTvis vuTvalTvalebT, da Cveni nakvalevi avsuniania, maTi myrali suni dagviweva da gars Semogvekvreva. yvirili myisieria, Tumca misi suni dampal tvins kidev didxans awiokebs; gancda daubadeblad mokvda - ra saWiroa maTTvis es gancda - maT TavianTi myrali suni aqvT. da es maTTvis sakmarisia. dae, yardes. me ki gancdebs gavagrZeleb.

fiqrma, Tu gancdebis vnebaTa sitkboSia dabadebuli, unda icocxlos moridebulad da gemrielad gardaicvalos, gaixsnas, da Tu mas sicocxlis mxolod wamia gamoyofili, iyos erTi wami, Tu dRea, iyos dRe - mokvdeba da kvalsac ar datovebs CemSi, sxvebs gzas ar gadaufaravs, mavzoleumiT ar dadgeba, kvanZaT ar Seikvreba.

"es naperwkali ar kmayofildeba arc mamiT, arc ZiT, arc suliwmindiT, arc samebiT, sanam yvela maTgani Tavis TaviseburobaSia moqceuli. WeSmaritad vambob, es samyaro RvTaebrivi bunebis msxmoiare TandayolilobiT ar kmayofildeba. ufro metsac vityvi, rac metad ucnaurad gaJRerdeba: keTil WeSmaritebas vficav, rom am samyaros ar akmayofilebs RvTaebrivi arsis ubralo umoZraoba, romelic arafers gascems da arafers Rebulobs; da ufro metic: samyaros surs icodes, saidan modis es arsi, mas martivi safuZveli unda, mdumare udabno, sadac arasodes veranair gansxvavebas ver SeniSnav, sadac arc mama, arc Ze, arc suliwminda ar aris; Sida wiaRSi, aravis savaneSi - iq poulobs samyaro kmayofilebas, iq aris ufro erTiani, vidre sakuTar TavSia; radgan safuZveli aq aris - ubralod simSvide, sakuTar TavSi uZravi. amiT gawmendili, ganaTebuli suli RvTaebriv bneleTSi, dumilSi, miuwvdomel da auwerel erTobaSi iZireba; da am CaZirvaSi yvelafers msgavss da gansxvavebuls kargavs, am ufskrulSi suli sakuTar Tavs kargavs da arc RmerTze, arc sakuTar Tavze, arc msgavsze, arc gansxvavebulze, arc araferze ukve araferi icis; amieridan RvTaebriv erTobaSia CaZiruli da yvela gansxvavebebi dakarga".

meubnebian - naZirala xar, nagavi, gasaWyleti xar, gasaWreli, me ki isRa mrCeba, rom mousmino maT, mousmino da gavigo - ufskruli uzarmazaria. saRamos lamazi ca, sqeli Rrublebi, axali wiwviani raya, Tovli Camocvenil foTlebze. Senc amJamad iseTi silamaze xar, romelzec SeiZleba viocneboT, SevigrZnoT, magram Serwyma SeuZlebelia. iseve, rogorc tye - is axlosaa, magram Cemi araa, rogorc mTebi - isini Cems sulSia, magram Sors var maTgan. CemTvis amJamad zRvac xar, mTebic da tyec, yvelaferi Sen xar - Cemo patara gogonav.

gamxmar totzec yvavilebi aris.

nakadulis xmaurSi, vagonebis gruxunSi, foTlebis SrialSi SigadaSig arnaxuli instrumentebis saocari melodia SeiWreba - umotivo, adamianisTvis Cveuli atributebis gareSe. magram sxva melodiac arsebobs - momentaluri gancdebis erToblioba, romelsac araferi adamianuri ar amZimebs (amgvarad is zedmetad adamianuria), zogjer grandiozul, adamianis yurisTvis TiTqmis autanel bedis melodiad yalibdeba. visac misi hangebi smenia, icis, rom imaze grandiozuri qoro, vidre miriadxmiani samyaros mier Sesrulebili, ar arsebobs, man icis, rom aq idumalebaa - xelSi samyaros guls iRebs.

 

zogjer mgonia, rom ar varsebob. anu saerTod ara var. meCveneba, rom qaris msubuq daqrolvas Cemi arsebis mtveris gafantva SeuZlia da rogorc meezove trotuaridan foTlebs gvis - iseve Camogvili iqneba is, rasac "me" erqva. davubrundebi imas, risganac Seqmnili viyavi - miwas, qars, Tovls, cnobismoyvareobas. Cems Tvalwin momabezreblad iseTi suraTi iSleba - TiTqos Soreul qoxSi mTebSi aradroulad sakuTari gulebis siRrmeSi moxucebi imyofebian, romelTa bedi miuwvdomelia, da maT mouvidaT fantazia, cnobierebis ucnobi nakadebi gaaerTianon da cocxali arseba Seqmnan da mas yvelaferi is mianiWon, rac adamians saSualebas iZleva, Tqvas, rom igi arsebobs - kvelam am saTamaSos is mianiWa, rac SeeZlo - gancdebi, SegrZnebebi, STabeWdilebebi, fiqrebi, siyvaruli - yvelam raRaca misca da gaCnda adamiani. darCeba Tu ara raRaca, rodesac maTi fantaziebi Sewydeba da saTamaSosadmi interesi amoiwureba? nakadebi ukan dabrundeba, me ki am momentSi ubralod gavqrebi. mgonia, isini Sanss maZleven, TviTon gadavwyvito es sakiTxi - viqnebi Tu ara maTTvis sakmaod saintereso? SevZleb Tu ara Cemi gulwrfelobis ZaliT maT gatacebas?

 

rodesac Matia Bazar-s vusmen, sikvdilis iseTi tkbili wyurvili meufleba. SeiZleba, es sulac ar aris sikvdili? SeiZleba, swored esaa sicocxle? guli mekumSeba da sadRac Cems siRrmeSi mzis gamosxivebas vxedav. uangariSo siyvaruli da sikvdili - isini xelixelCaWidebulni bednierebis mZvinvare afeTqebebisken miemarTebian.

albaT, sasacilo var. albaT, martoobisa da sevdisgan saSualebis maZieblad gamoviyurebi, sulebis momxmareblad. da rogor unda vTqva, rogor ganvmarto, rom minda mxolod vaCveno - ramdenad axlosaa, ra axlos devs raRaca... erTi cxeni da erTi zRarbi kronStadtis nislSi seirnobdnen, da iq orivesTvis mxolod erTi foToli iyo, is, lui broiliviT Cemi bavSvobis sizmrebidan, mofrindeboda da gafrindeboda - rogorc berdiaevis cudi usasruloba - rogorc indusebis penisoiduri simbolo, sityvas gadaukvrelze gadakvravda, anu, zogadad, fibrilirebadi foTlis am suraTSi am rbilkanianoba da gulis sisastike iyo. vxedavdi sizmars: msuqana oboba fexebCamokidebuli ijda. ori Tvis winaT gogonas gavecani, romelsac mamakacis misamarTi hqonda. maSin es davwere, axla ki amotivtivda. androginuri gemonakravi. sqesobrivi stereo. moxiTxiTe eqidna. gemrieli Sabiamani. ase is oboba dagvcinoda, im maxinj warmonaqmns gascinoda, rasac adamianebi namuss uwodeben. namusi - rogorc xis soko - TiTqos sokoa, sinamdvileSi ki sufTa celulozaa. is TiTqos fsiqikis nawilia, magram sinamdvileSi ubralo celulozaa. ai, raze seriozulad vfiqrob. sakmaod seriozulad. "ras geZaxian?@ - vkiTxe mas. mTavaria, sad? imitom rom, Tuki geZaxian, aucileblad sadRac geZaxian. ra unda igrZnos adamianma, romelsac paTosiT sikvdilisken mouwodeben? maxsovs Tovli, romelic Cems fexebqveSidan gamosxlteboda, daxrili yinuli da myari gadawyvetileba: "Tu Cemi wriapebi ver gadamarCenen - kbilebiT yunuls CavibRauWebi". yinulis najaxs droSiviT avwevdi da mivdiodi iq, sadac aravin meZaxoda - da iq bednieri viyavi. winandlis velSi ayvavebuli broweulis xeebis okeane. fuZis ferdobze ayvavebuli sakuras mozRvaveba - dacocavs kvlav is lokokina Tu ukve misula da amiT uecari leqsebisa da mudmivi siyvarulis epoqa daasrula? iyo rogorc nakadi, rogorc nakaduli, ubralod idino.

rodesac moxucs vxedav, romelic WuWyiani vedroTi xelSi, rezinis Zvel CeqmebSi quCiT aTrevs Tavs, sicxis miuxadavad, mis TvalebSi imis gagebas vxedav, rom misaRwevi ukve araferia, arc erT mizans mis TavSi SeRweva ar SeuZlia - misi realizebisTvis arc Zala aqvs, arc dro. araferia, mxolod isaa, rac amJamad aris - es quCa, saSineli sicxe, samyaro mis TavSi airekleba da kvalsac ar tovebs - rogorc mTvare gubeSi. amaSi aris iseTi ram, ris gamoc gaCereba gsurs. saerTod gaCereba. ise gaCereba, rom mTeli samyaroc gaCerdes. da ganicado es amJamad - rodesac jer kidev gaqvs Zala, rom amas gaumklavde, rom aRiqva es rogorc sicocxlis Zala, da ara usaSvelobis Tavzari.

sicocxliT gariskeba - rogori wvrilmania. garSemo yvela mxolod amas aketebs - maTi uniWo gaToSva sxvagvarad rogor SeiZleba davarqvaT. xolo sikvdiliT gariskeba - sikvdiliT garikkeba - ai, es magaria!

sicilis afeTqebebi, maTraxebis dartyma, yvirili, daxeuli Rrublebi, Caxurebuli balaxis suni - ase davamSvide sakuTari goneba.

rodesac musika ar arsebobs - maSin ibadeba samadhis melodia, rodesac vneba ar aris - ibadeba samadhis vneba, rodesac goneba ar aris - ibadeba samadhis goneba. rodesac ibadeba samive, isini kvdebian da ibadeba samadhi. rodesac ibadeba samadhi, meti arafris Tqma ar SemiZlia.

dRes diliT saxlidan rom gamovdiodi - garkveuli suni vigrZeni - es frinvelis Crdilis suni iyo, axlomdebare xis Srialis suni, asfaltze bzaris suni.

usinaTloebi mxolod usinaTloebs xedaven, yruebs mxolod yruebis esmiT. rogorc Cans, aq ukve verafers veli. yovel dRes sul ufro Sors var. raRaca daubruneblad misxlteba da amas mTeli Cemi sxeuliT, mTeli suliT vgrZnob, yvelafriT, rac CemSia. xom ar SeiZleba, TvalebSi naxvretebi gaburRo, rom mxedveloba aRvadgino. mxedvelobis aRdgena xom Signidan xdeba, asec unda moxvide - Signidan, anu sakuTari Tavidan, es ki niSnavs, rom unda waxvide imisTvis, rom moxvide. ase rom naxvamdis.

sadme ar myofi gonebis mdgomareoba. gonebis mdgomareoba, romlis drosac fiqri ar ibadeba, okeanes wminda zedapiri, gamovlenili siRrme. gasrolili qva dauyovnebliv iZireba da qreba, wyali ki mxolod ixureba, talRebic ki ar Cndeba. wyalTan daxrili adamianis saxe mxolod sakuTar anarekls xvdeba, romlis iqiT ufskruli siRrme inaTebs.

araCveulebrivi gancdebis moZiebas vcdilob. magaliTad, warmovidgen, rom am wuTas momklaven, da am fiqris gamo sicive momicavs, xolo meCxertyeoba, romlic formac Cemma sxeulma unda miiRos, maradisobis araCveulebrivi aromatis elfers iZens. aris Tu ara amaSi samomxmareblo fantaziis ubralo Tavdaujerloba? ara mgonia. es ufro msoflSegrZnebis axali simebis Sexebis, stereotipebisgan Tavis daRwevis xerxia. grZnobebi ufro axali da gamWvirvale xdeba - maTSi yofierebis udroo foladisferi RerZis xilvas viwyeb. an warmovidgen, rom samadhiSi xis qveS vzivar - am viTarebaSi yvela mcdari pasuxismgebloba qreba, SesaZlebelia, samadhic daiwyos. aRqmebis garkveuli erTobliobebi aRqmebs TiTqos uxilav sibrtyeSi miiweven. aseTi erTobliobebis Sedgenis xelovneba uTuod umaRlesi xelovnebaa, meore mxriv ki, SeiZleba, nebismieri xelovnebis Sinaarsi swored amaSia. ra Tqma unda, amas yvela sakuTari TavisTvis poulobs. miT ufro saocaria, rom zogjer uamravi adamiani amaSi igive efeqts poulobs. CemTvis Zalian axlosaa xelovnebis forma, romelic iaponur hokusa da tankaSia gamoxatuli. rigi saxeebi - sxva gancdaSi daZvris afeTqebacaa. Cndeba SekiTxva - ramdenad mravalferovania is samyaroebi, romlebSic Cemi aRqma midis? maTSi uTuod metismetad erTi saerTo ramea - TviT aRfrTovaneba imiT, rom samyaros sxvagvarad aRviqvam. aRqmebis daZvrisadmi Cveva imisTvis mamzadebs, rom vpoulob gzas imisken, rac CemTvis yvelaze metadaa damaxasiaTebeli - samadhisken.

xmauri, romelic xels miSlis, Tavi moviyaro da sakuTar TavSi CaviZiro, mxolod maSinaa gasagoni, rodesac goneba fiqriTaa damZimebuli. rodesac ki goneba is xdeba, rac fiqrebis gaCenamde Tavisi bunebiT iyo - dabrkolebebi ar arsebobs. TviT dabrkoleba - raRacaa, rac nakadis SuaSi dgeba da aferxebs mas. Tu nakadi ar aris, dabrkolebebic ar aris. rodesac arc nakadi aris da arc dabrkolebebi, maSin nakadis ararsebobac ar aris da Seferxebebis ararsebobac ar aris. swored maSin xorcieldeba nakadi. vin icis, is gaigebs. ratom amJamad samadhiSi ar var? ai, erTaderTi SekiTxvaa, romlic dayeneba sakuTari Tavis winaSe msurs, rodesac saerTod aris kiTxvebi.

rodesac dRes diliT saxlidan gamovdiodi, suni vigrZeni - es sikvdilis suni iyo. rac pirdapir gulSi mirtyams - es warmavlobaa yvelafrisa, rac xdeba. Cems samyaroSi araferia mdgradi. xolo adamianTa samyaroSi, sadac yvelaferi gamZle da mdgradia da winaswaraa gansazRvruli, da valdebulebisa an SiSis grZnobasTanaa dakavSirebuli - iq ufro uaresia. iq saerTod lpobaa. gulis gaxsniloba Ria gulebis mimarT siyvarulis saocar afeTqebas badebs - is SeSlilia im mniSvnelobiT, rom mxedvelobaSi verafers iRebs, maT Soris sakuTar Tavsac.

 

es afeTqeba udrooa im mniSvnelobiT, rom yoveli wami xelaxlad aRorZindeba da ukve arsad arsebobs - arc warsulSi, arc momavalSi da arc awmyoSic ki - droTa Sualedi, xangrZlivobis ararseboba.

rodesac situacia damTavrebulia da arc ise Soreuli saRamos movlenebs msubuqi mtvris fenam dafara, maSin Tvalwin axali samyaro wardgeba, Tumca am samyaroSi ori guli ukve aRaraa, mxolod mogonebebis nazi fenaa - rogorc burusis zoli, romelic diliT mzis amosvlasTan erTad gardauvlad ifanteba... sikvdilic da sicocxlec gardauvali ganSorebis momentSi Seirwymian - sikvdilic da sicocxlec neitralur zols aq pouloben, sadac grZnobaTa daRvril sisxlze mSvidobas amyareben, da maT xelebs Cvens xelebze aerTeben, Cveni Sexedulebebi maradi ganTiadis momajadoebeli elvarebis bnel SuqSi gadaijaWveba.

es axali kacobriobis ganTiadia, cvlilebebis qariSxalia drosa da sivrceSi, magram kalis wisqvilis qvaSi yvela momxdari qviSis marcvali kvnesis da WraWunebs.

mTel am wreSi aris daZvelebuli qoxi, romelSic "moxavsebuli" moxucebi zian - maTi wveri - maradisobis nakadebia, maTi gulebi samyaros mowyvetilia. es ar minda. ukeTesia, ciklonis TvalSi Sevide da davelodo, saman nawilebad ar damixeven da okeanes Tavze ar gamifantaven. yovel SemTxvevaSi, ase Cemi suli kosmosis sivrceebSi Tavisufali gaxdeba.

arasodes vkiTxulob imas, rasac vwer.

garSemo asobiT kilometris manZilze TeTri Tovlia, TeTri ca, TeTri mwvervalebi - aymuvlebuli qari aSiSvelebs kldeebs da isev TovliT afarebs maT. am saSinel maradisobaSi marto var - sayvareli adamianis mimarT nabijsac ver gadavdgam - Tovlis uzarmazari mTebi nebismier Zalisxmevas Caylapaven. Tavzari. gamwmendi Tavzari. madlierebiT viReb mas - vici, rom uxeSi cicxiT yvela wvrilmans, moziduls gamogvis, da mxolod siyvarulis gaafTrebuli moTxovnileba darCeba, sastiki vneba, romelic mTel Cems sxeuls, mTel Cems suls Seiwovs. rodesac ki es taifuni aitaceba da mTis mwvervalebis Tavze arsebul usasrulobaSi iqneba waRebuli - maSin kristaluri siwminde dadgeba, romelSic Cans is, rac gonebisTvis, WkuisTvis, gulisTvis miuwvdomelia. Semodgomis qaris mZvinvare noti. ar dagiviwyeb, sanam cocxali var. talRebi TvalebSi. leqsebis nawyvetebi. cieb-cxeleba. guliscema. muStebi SekumSulia. Sexedva yvelafers gamsWvalavs, misTvis sicarielec dabrkoleba ar aris.

30 wlis var. ukve WaRara Tmebic maqvs. vuyureb maT da vxvdebi - gulwrfeli gancdebi amaod ar Caivlis. gamZleobis maragi odesRac damTavrdeba. odesRac davtoveb am miwas, am adamianebs, romlebic sakuTar sicocxleze metad miyvars, am cxovelebs, romlebic bevr adamianze metad miyvars, am mTebs maTi usazRvro TavzariT, am zRvas misi maRali wylebiT. waval, isinic wavlen, da sad SevxdebiT yvelani? sad aRmovCndebiT? sayvarelo, sad aRmovaCenT erTmaneTs?

saqmeebi, romlebsac sakuTari TavisTvis vpoulobT - maxsovs is dro, rodesac namdvilad raRaca mainteresebda. mainteresebda enebis Seswavla, maTemaTika, fizika, raRacas neoplatonikebis fsiqologiur eTiudebsa da filosofiaSi veZebdi, CemTvis ucnobi da Soreuli adamianebis istoriebs gadavReWavdi, liTeraturuli personaJebis ubedurebaze vtirodi da bednieri viyavi, rodesac yvelaferi bednierad mTavrdeboda. uamrav adamians vicnob, vinc amas Cemamde akeTebda da amJamadac akeTebs. mxedvelobaSi ar maqvs isini, vinc amas aucileblobis gamo akeTebs, vinc amisgan profesias qmnis. maT vgulisxmob, vinc amaSi dasvenebas poulobs. da ar vugeb maT. am saqmianobebs gulwrfelad rom SevxedoT, isini mtvrad iqceva. mogonilia personaJi Tu ara - is mxolod personaJia. mecnierebas - mxolod mecnierebaa. yvelaferi TviT Sesaswavli sagniTaa SezRuduli. nebismieri saqmianoba TviT sakuTari sagniTaa gansazRvruli. adre Tu gvian, sulis gaRatakeba mainc xdeba. rasakvirvelia, SegiZlia usasrulod Zalisxmeva sakuTari interesebis kultivirebisTvis da mxardaWerisTvis mimarTo, magram amas mxolod iSviaTi sulieri gantvirTvis iSviaT wamebSi akeTeb. rodesac ki energiis vardnis periodi gavlilia, maSin isev mTis mwvervalze gamohyavxar, isev yvela qars xar damorCilebuli da isev sadRac mihyavxar.

iqneb, ubralod avadmyofi var? ara, sakuTari gzis yvela etaps vxedav, vxedav, rom yverlaferi iyo patiosani da sxva gamosavali ar mqonda, da Tu Tavidan am yvelafris gasvla momiwevs, igive gzas gavivli. Tu es avadmyofobaa - ase davarqvaT mas. ese igi, miyvars ase avadmyofoba. es niSnavs, rom ukan ar unda moexedo. unda kvlav adge da iaro. sekuTar TavTan SesaxvedraT. Sexvedraze arsad. siyvaruli yovelTvis mindoda. es simarTlea, miuxedavad imisa, rom bavSvobaSi amas veridebodi da amJamadac ucxo Tvalebisgan vmalav amas. siyvaruli yovelTvis mindoda. da yovelTvis mis Sesaxvedrad mivdiodi. SeuZlia Tu ara vinmes sakuTar Tavze igives Tqma? minda, aseT adamians Sevxedo. mezizReba im TeoretikosTa agebulebebi, romlebic mzad arian, yvelaferi TviTgadarCenis Ratak kompleqsamde daiyvanon. yovelTvis aRmoCndeba keTilmosurne, romelic advilad, siyvarulis Cems moTxovnilebas, sakuTari Tavisadmi siyvarulis martivi moTxovnilebiT amixsnis, Cems Tavze mimarTuli yuradRebis ubralo dagrovebiT, martivi saqonelbrunviT, romelSic mTavari kapitali - yuradReba da sakuTari mniSvnelobis grZnobaa. da jandaba maT Tavs, auxsnan. Tumca, vin waikiTxavs amas? vin, Cems garda? marTali rom viyo, arc me vkiTxulob amas, ase rom - arc aravin waikiTxavs? maSin, ratom vwer amas? imedi maqvs, rom qaRaldis es furceli mainc miva adresatamde, sacodavi imedi, rom usasrulo ufskrulis gadalaxvas SeZlebs qaRaldis furceli, romelsac movlenaTa qari aitacebs, warmoudgenel sivrceebs nel-nela gadakveTs da swored im xelebSi moxvdeba, im Tvalwin, im gulisTvis xelmisawvdomi gaxdeba.

is gogona bavSvobaSi banaobda da uceb fexqveS moris molipuli naWeri igrZno. im droidan curvis ki ar eSinia, magram fskers ufrTxis. Seecade, es ubralo istoria gaigo, Seecade, kidev erTxel waikiTxo is, ganicado - da naxav, rom miuwvdomelobis samyaro Cvens cxovrebas ganmsWvalavs da Sors gaaqrolebs. vin gabedavs, am nakads gzaze aRudges?! rogor unda gavmagrdeT? maCveneT is adamiani, vinc gamagrebas SeZlebs, im SemTxvevaSic SeZlebs, Tu ecodineba, rom win mas raRaca gadaucemeli, warmoudgeneli, ararsebuli elodeba.

rodesac frTebSi qaria, isRa grCeba, rom ifrino. martivi istoria, romelic patara gogonas daemarTa - icoda Tu ara man maSin, rom es istoria mTeli cxovrebis manZilze ZaRliviT Tan gahyveba mas? vgrZnobT Tu ara, rom is istoria, romelic Cvens cxovrebaSi xdeba, mTel Cvens cxovrebaze gaugebar, magram gardauval zegavlenas moaxdens? zogjer uceb SemTxveviTi Sexedva, dauCqarebeli sityva, TiTqmis damRleli Sexvedra, TiTqmis SeumCneveli Seferxeba xdeba - da uceb xvdebi - moxda raRaca. araviTari atributi ukve aRaraa. rac ginda Rrmad Caxede - verafers dainaxav - da mainc ici - es moxda. es saidumloa. namdvili saidumlo, xolo Tu miuaxlovdebi mas - brrr, sisxli giSreba, sunTqva giCerdeba.

ori adamiani vxdebi, rodesac mTaSi var - me da mTa, romelis "me"-d iqceva. ori vxdebi, rodesac CemSi sicocxlis wyurvili da sikvdilisadmi midrekileba erTmaneTs ebrZvian - isini, rogorc me, dialogs marTaven. ori vxdebi, rodesac miyvars - is var, visac uyvars, da is, vinc miyvars.

aris sisuste, romelic TviTmizani araa, romelic imdenadaa susti, ramdenadac erideba Zalas, rogorc elements, romelic aRqmis gamWvirvalebas abundovanebs - es sisuste arafers iZleva, arafers kargavs, es sisuste - drekadi totis moqnilobis Zalaa. es sisuste - Zalis moqnili mxarea. sxvadasxva fiqrebi mebadeba - rodesac ubralod giyureb. davalpobdi maT - arakonstruqciuli da bundovania es fiqrebi, magram... xmamaRla Tqma minda. ki ar gadmovcem - sityvebSi vcxovrob, rodesac am sityvebs imas veubnebi, vinc momwons.

yvelaferi gaugebari ormniSvnelovan aRmonacens iZleva. yvelaferi ormniSvnelovani mravalmniSvnelobas iwvevs, mravalmniSvnelovani ki simfoniurobas, simfoniuroba iwvevs harmoniurobas, Cawvdomas, ganzavebas, gaqras - araferia imdenad maradi, ramdenadac is, rac gaqra.

 

dgeba dro, rodesac sizmrebi Rrma, Tavisi mravalmniSvnelobiT grandiozuli xdeba, rodesac iRviZeb da ici - es namdvili realoba iyo, xolo is fsevdorealoba, romelic adre realobad iTvleboda - masSic simarTlis wili aris, magram nagvis wili imxelaa, rom... ZravaSi sxvadasxva sawvavis gamoyeneba SeiZleba. sxvaTaSoris, adgilidan dasaZravad yvela xerxi kargia - seqsualuri dawnevac, martoobis tanjvac da a.S. magram win namdvil gadaxtomas mxolod siyvarulis energia iZleva. rogorc sindisieri eqsperimentatori, rogorc adamiani, romelic nagavsayrelze yvelafer aranamdvils Sewuxebis gareSi agdebs, romelsac WeSmaritebis moZiebis sakuTar agoniaSi sakuTar Tavsac da sxvebsac ulmobelad wameba miaqvs - vadastureb - siyvaruli - yvelaze saosari ramea yvelafridan, rasTanac dRemde Sexeba mqonda.

rodesac garRveva xdeba - is ki mxolod erTxel xdeba - maSin yuradRebac siyvarulis axlo megobad iqceva, da mTeli Cemi arseba axali cxovrebis siamovnebis winaTgrZnobaSi kankalebs da vibrirebs, sizmrebi realobis nawilad iqceva, da uamravi sxva ram xdeba... ra Tqma unda, mxedvelobaSi swored is siyvaruli maqvs, romelic Cveulebrivi siyvarulisgan - siyvaruli-mesakuTrisgan mkveTrad gansxvavdeba. rogorc sakuTari sulis injineri, sakuTar Tavs veubnebi - sakuTari manqanisTvis swored am Zravas viReb. rogorc magi - vxedav, rom araCveulebrivi siRrme CemTan Sesaxvedrad modis, rogorc adamiani, vgrZnob - amaSia Cemi realizacia, amaSia Cemi bedniereba.

bevri ramis xedva SemiZlia da bevr rames vxedav, magram ubralod ar viyurebi iq - momavalSi, imaSi, ra da rogor iqneba. me xom RmerTi ara var, ubralod bavSvi var, romelmac axlaxan samadhiSi daibada. da CemTvis rTulia neitralurobis SenarCuneba imis mimarT, rasac vxedav da xSirad mgonia, rom sakuTari inteleqtisTvis, suleluri adamianuri instinqtisTvis "yvelaferi rac SeiZleba kargad gaakeTo" winaaRmdegobis gaweva ar SemiZlia, da saidumloTa saidumloSi verevi, amiT ki nakads varRvev.

amitomac avirCie sakuTari Sexedulebis manmade gadadeba, sanam absoluturad darwmunebuli ar viqnebi, rom ar Caverevi, nanaxTan raRacis gakeTebas ar Sevecdebi - sxva SemTxvevaSi yvelaferi ikargeba, binZurdeba, ikargeba is araSemTxveviTobac.

Cavaxvele, miwidan avdeqi, qurTuqSi gavexvie da tyis pirTan wavedi. lurji balaxi, xeebi, romlebic fesvebiT maRla izrdeba, tba, romelmac Tavisi mZime napiriT damidga - yvelaferi macilebda, yvelaferi WraWunebda, zuzunebda da tkaSunebda. cxovreba gaivso, samyaro gamravlda, guli mtkivoda. erTi nabiji unda gadavdga. mxolod erTi nabiji unda gadavdga. ar vici, saiT, magram unda. aris nabiji, romelic ar SeiZleba, sadRac gadadga. Tu sadRac, e.i aSkaraa, rom ara iq, sadac unda gadadga. am sityvebs rogorc fics, rogorc satyuaras vimeorebdi. nabiji ar SeiZleba, sadRac gadadga. nabiji unda gadadga, da sul esaa. ubralod gadadga. martivi nabiji. ai, paradoqsi. ai, martivi qmedebebis dawyevlili dampali miuwvdomeloba. miyvars martivi sityvebi, vafaseb martiv grZnobebs, vxedav siyvarulis sawyis simartives - amjerad ki Zalisxmeva unda gamoviyeno da martivi nabijebis gadadgma viswavlo.

Tavdapirvelad es idea Zalian didi xnis win damebada, rodesac is mxolod vardisferi zRapari iyo - da iq ufro gamosacdeli viyavi, vidre gamomcdeli. wlebi garboda, zRapari zRaprad rCeboda, da dadga momenti, rodesac sakuTari Tavis Cems mier warmosaxuli movlenebis pasiur monawiled ganxilva ukve ar SemeZlo. mere xangrZlivi da arasaintereso yoveldRiuri cxovreba iyo, romelmac Cemi Tavisebureba umeteswilad CaaxSo. erT mSvenier dros ki Cemma Zvelma, ukve mkvdarma ocnebam Tavidan axali saxiT daibada. man Tvalebze Camomafara, da sxva araferze fiqri ukve ar SemeZlo.

ai, ase, sauzmisa da sadilis SualedSi, axali samyaros aSenebis gadawyvetileba miviRe. emocia - sagania, romelsac gaxangrZliveba aqvs - droSi gaxangrZliveba, xolo gancda yovelTvis momentaluria, is mxolod aq da amJamad arsebobs. gancda - wertilia nulovani gawelilobiT. es kaTarzisia. rogorc sabrZolo xanjlis simZlavre mis wvetSia Tavmoyrili - wertilSi, romelsac gagrZeleba ar gaaCnia, gancdis Zliereba wamSia Tavmoyrili, iq, sadac arc warsuli da arc momavali ar aris.

raRac suleluri maradisobis winaSe yvelaferi es amaoebaa. sul erTia, adre Tu gvian - dRes, xval, zeg - mogiwevs wynarad, sakuTar TavTan marto jdoma da gageba - ai, axla davjdebi da ara saaTebs, aramed wamebs davTvli. da maSin yvelaferi Zalian swrafad damTavrdeba. yvelafers sazRvari aqvs. cxovrebis konkretul moments rom ar mivejaWvoT, maSin emociebi adgils gancdebs uTmoben - emociebi xom yovelTvis Sedegia, gancdebis gacnobierebis produqtia, im SemTxvevaSic ki, Tu es SeumCnevlad xdeba. xolo wminda gancda emociisgan mniSvnelovnad gansxvavdeba - es cxovrebis TviT dedaarsia, da wminda gancdis praqtikidan samadhimde - erTi nabijia. wminda gancdaze gadasvla - es igrZnoba, TiTqos uceb sunTqva giCerdeba da raRac gansakuTrebuli siRrmis da sicocxlis gansakuTrebuli gaJRenTilobis areSi vardebi. am gancdis mTavari Tviseba - sisavsea. sisavsis grZnobiT ixrCobi, grZnob, rom es zRvruli realizaciaa. samyaro Tavis warmoudgenel siRrmes gixsnis.

aris Sansi, romelic upasuxo siyvarulSia Cadebuli. misi aReba maSin SegiZlia, rodesac sakuTari gancdebis SesaxvedraT SiSisa da sayveduris gareSe midixar.

araTavaziari siyvaruliT gamowveuli sasowarkveTilebis fskerze diadi ganZi devs, da is mxolod Zlieri da vnebiani adamianebisTvisaa xelmisawvdomi, visac SeuZlia ganZisTvis ise Rrmad Casvla. es saqme Zlieri adamianebisTvisaa, meore mxriv ki, swored amaSi izrdeba Zala.

rodesac quCaSi gogonas yvirili mesmis – Soridan, Zlivs gasagoni, maSin gaugebaria – celqobis yvirilia es Tu mowodebis – yovelTvis meCveneba, rom meZaxian, rom viRacas moTmineba ar eyo, da igi quCaSi gavida da ubralod yviris, da imedi aqvs, rom gavugeb mas. musikas odnav davuwev, fiqrebi CemSi iyuCeba, yuradRebiT vusmen da velodebi, minda swrafad Cavicva da quCaSi gaviqce da sapasuxod vuyviro – aq var!!!

mTebma haeri wamarTves, siyvarulma miwa, adamianebma rwmena, tkivilma ki imedi. rodesac uZlurobaSi muSts Sli da yvelaferi, rac geWiravs, Sens xelebs usxlteba, da dacarielebul xelebs uyureb da xedav, rom yvelaferi dakargulia – xelebi kvlav igrZnoben, dakarguli ki kvlav cocxldeba SenSi. aris iseTi ram, risi dakargvac SeuZlebelia, magram, yovel jerze, dakargvisas, es maviwydeba. da yovel jerze maxsendeba, rodesac sakuTar Tavs kvlav am miwawyalze aRmovaCen.

SevamCnie, rom akugatava, rodesac mas movlenaTa gamouTqmeli Serwymulobis aRwera undoda, sityvas “no” iyenebda. “aru sigure-no furu ban-no kote des”. Cems mier dawerils rom gadavxede, davinaxe, rom amisTvis kavSirs “da” viyeneb da agreTve xSirad mZimes ugulebelvyof – uwyvetoba CemTvis wignierebaze ufro mniSvnelovania, rac ufro Sors mivdivar, miT ufro miSlis xels mZimeebi, rodesac isini bunebriv pauzas ar gamoxataven.

pirvelive jerze SemeZlo uceb gavbrunebuliyavi da wavsulviyavi. da araferi amgvari ar moxdeboda. iqneboda mxolod Clungi sevda Seusrulebelze, rogorc sakuTari Tavis Ralati, magram es, albaT, aseTi mtkivneuli ar iqneboda. magram es Cemi arCevani araa. xolo Semdegi, rogorc Cans, CemTvisaa.

rodesac tyeSi koconTan vzivar, rodesac iq karviT, ramdenime dRiT an saaTiT mivedi, rom bunebaze moSriale xeebis qveS vijde da wigni wavikiTxo, an wynar martoobaSi sakuTar cxovrebaze vifiqro, rodesac Cemi fiqrebi Tavmoyrilia da qalaqSi darCenil problemebs ar ubrundeba - am momentebSi mokrebili var, sufTa haeris suns vgrZnob, vgrZnob, rogor swored dganan fiWvebi da rogor gamalebulad gafenilia xavsi, da gare siqorfe Sida siqorfed iqceva. rodesac ukan vbrundebi, es mimaqvs. ar minda araferi Cems sakuTrebad aRviqva, amitomac iq, sadac sxvebs amaoebisgan Tavis daRweva erTi wuTiTac ar SeuZliaT, sakuTar Tavs koconTan mjdar mogzaured vgrZnob – Tavisifal, mokrebil, siaxliT aRsavse, gare samyaros mowyvetil adamianad.

zogierTi saxeli, romelic yvelafris miuxedavad CemTvis yovelTvis axlosaa – imis Semqmnelebi arian, rac CemSi cocxlobs, riTac vcxovrob: akutagava, kobo abe, kavabata, faulzi, kastaneda, nikoli, liosa, friSi, kriSnamurti, suzo, tauleri, oSo, nicSe, ramakriSna, milarepa, gazdanovi. es saxelTa hipnoturi rigia, da maTi gamoTqmisas virindebi, cxeli TrTviliT mefareba guli – usasrulo rigs sakuTar TavSi vxedav, vgrZnob, mesmis mgrgvinavi siCume, romelic gulidan gulamde midis, mesmis, rom es grgvinva brolis siCumiT gadaecema da is sisxlis ferisaa.

zogjer, rodesac viRviZeb, sizmrisgan ucnauri SegrZneba mrCeba, da Tavs xelebiT Tu ar Seexo, garkveuli drois ganmavlobaSi ar imoZravo da naxevradmZinare Tvlemas danebde, SegiZlia am SegrZnebas neba darTo, ufro mkafiod gamovlindes. is araa dakavSirebuli arc sizmris siuJetTan, rogorc es, SeiZleba Candes, arc sxva raRacasTan – is ucnauria, TviT siRrmidan modis – mas cotaTi SfoTianad ganicdi, is Zalian ar hgavs yvelafers, rasTanac fxizlobis realobaSi an sizmris realobaSi Sejaxeba giwevda. is, rogorc Cans, TviT siRrmidan gamodis. mrisxane SegrZnebaa – saSiSi da mimzidveli erTdroulad. saSiSi imtom, rom safrTxe miaqvs yvelafrisTvis, rac mis gareTaa – rac ufro Zlieria individualurobis SegrZneba, miT ufro brtyel Crdilad eCveneba. mimzidvelia imitom, rom iq Cemi gza midis, imitom rom es – sicarielis pirdapiri gancdis SeRwevaa, romelic yvelafers avsebs. gancalkevebis samyaroSo martoxela yaribi.

miiCneven, rom qali grZnobebiT cxovrobs. sinamdvileSi ki grZnoba qaliT cxovrobs. miiCneven, rom mamakaci Zlieri unda iyos. sinamdvileSi ki Zala mamakacs sakuTar magidaze iTxovs – mas sakvebi sWirdeba. Zala xelSi Cangals-patiosnobas da danas-Rirsebas iRebs, TefSze-upiratesobaze debs mas da gemrielad ReWavs. Zala, grZnobebi – maT cxovreba undaT, amisTvis ki sakvebia saWiro. magram me amgvari Tavganwirulobisadmi midrekili ara var – TefSebidan gamovZvrebi, Cems tansacmels iq vtoveb da mivdivar. dae, qarma Cemi Wrilobebi moSuSos, dae, qviSaze dawerili Cemi saxeli waSalos, da maSin Zala ar mimagnebs. damalobanas vTamaSob. kvlav bavSvi var. buStebs vuSveb, mzeze gaSterebulvar da gamdnar wyalSi TiTebs vanZrev. misi sarkiani moCurCuxe gluvi zedapiri raRacas meubneba, magram es ar mWirdeba.

mZvinvareba – ai, Cemi erTguli megobari. ar mesmis uimedod zrdilobiani adamianebisa, romlebic sxva adamianebTan urTierTobebs ise awyoben, rogorc tura saWmels ekideba – mere ra, rom xorci dampalia, is mainc xorcia. zrdilobianobas zrdilobianobis gulisTvis, urTierTobas urTierTobis gulisTvis ar viReb. SemiZlia, viyo uxeSi, SeiZleba, viyo alersiani, SeiZleba viyo mZvinvare, rodesac mZvinvareba Cems Tavsa da Cems sisuleles Soris arsebuli kedlis dangrevazea mimarTuli. ra mouvidaT mZvinvare adamianebs? sadaa Seni kverebi, mamakaco? sadaa Seni frCxilebi, qalbatono? mZvinvareba agresia ar aris, arc siZulvilia da gaRizianeba, mZvinvareba yvela am nagavTan Seusabamebelia.

siZulvili, agresia, gaRizianeba – damangreveli grZnobebia, isini asusteben adamians, daucvelad aqceven, radgan flobis wyurvilis meore mxares warmoadgenen, samyaros mimarT samomxmareblo pretenziebs gamoxataven. Tu samyaro araa iseTi, romelic msurs – es agresiul da gaRizianebul adamianad maqcevs. mZvinvareba – sul sxva ramea. mZvinvareba – yvela sakuTari Zalis zeadamianuri daZabvaa cdaSi, daarRvio burusi. es sinaTlisken, sikaSkaSisken miswrafebaa. mZvinvareba – naTeli grZnobaa. mZvinvareba – siyvarulisa da sinazis Zalebis daZabvaSi bolo gabeduli gadasrolaa. ar SeiZleba, namdvilad mZvinvare is iyos, visac ar SeuZlia usazRvrod nazi iyos; ar SeiZleba, mZvinvare is iyos, vinc araa mzad, sakuTari cxovreba sicocxles Seswiros. ar SeiZleba, mZvinvare is iyos, visac ar SeuZlia sakuTari Tavi pirvel Sexvedril adamians Seswiros, romlis TvalebSic sakuTari bedis anarekls dainaxavs. mZvinvareba grZnobaa, romlis unari mxolod imas aqvs, vinc mizanmimarTulia, vinc mTel suls siyvarulis unarsa da siyvarulis moTxovnilebaSi debs – yvela danarCeni Zalian wvrilia imisTvis, rom mZvinvareba gamoiwvios, wvrilmani ki mZvinvare ver iqneba. ar SeiZleba, mZvinvare is iyos, visac Tavis moyra ar SeuZlia. mZvinvareba aramsjelobiania, amitomac mas SeuZlia Cemi sikvdilis sazRvrebs gareT gamomtacos. mZvinvarea buda. mZvinvareba yvelafer carielsa da moCvenebiTs Wams – mZvinvare adamians TavazianobisTvis da zrdilobis wesebis dacvisTvis dro ara aqvs – is kbilebiT kedels RrRnis - ra saubari SeiZleba aq zrdilobaze! mZvinvareba, ar SeiZliba, cariel an gamogonebul raRacaze iyos mimarTuli – is dabrundeba da wava. mZvinvareba Tavisi SinaarsiT arCeviTia – is sikvdilTan SejaxebaSi ibadeba. srored imitom mZvinvareba sxva adamianze ar SeiZleba, mimarTuliyos – is SeiZleba mimarTuliyos sisuleleze, romelic klavs suls da aSrobs guls – da aq ukve ara aqvs mniSvneloba – CemSia es sisulele Tu SenSi.

am wreSi Zveli qoxicaa, sadac moxavsebuli bebrebi imyofebian – maTi wveri – maradisobis nakadebia, maTi gulebi samyaros mowyvetilia. sibere maT mimarT keTilganwyobilia – mas ar SeuZlia maTi simartivis umwikvlobas miadges – misTvis miuwvdomelia imis dabereba, rac axalgazrdobas arc ebRauWeba, energias maTi mitoveba ar SeuZlia, radgan maT TviTon uari Tqves masze, Zalebs ar SeuZlia, uRalaton maT, radgan didi xania, maT TviTon Zalebs uRalates da usazRvro sisustes danebdnen. Zalis sazRvari pirvandel sisusteSia – ras SeuZlia absoluturi sisustis am grgvinviseuli Zalis damarcxeba? rodesac adamianma yvelaferi misca – is Seulaxavi xdeba – rogorc Seulaxavia tye, rogor Seulaxavia mindvris yvavilebi. am faqtis winaSe ingreva mTebi da imsxvreva aTaswliani kldeebi.

bodhis samyaros cisferi sivrce – kidev ra aris saWiro?

saocaria – vWam da vsvam – cxovreba ki Cemgan mainc midis. ra darCeba Cems Semdeg? ra Tqma unda, me. es me var, rom viRimebi da Tavs vuqnev mexsierebas, romelic Tavazianad mTavazobs:

ra darCeba Cems Semdeg?

yvavilebi – gazafxulze,

guguli – zafxulSi,

sufTa da civi Tovli – zamTarSi.

bunebrivi anesTezia – uSfoTveli civi udabno – is yovel adamianSia, da rodesac tanjva autaneli xdeba – suli TviTon poulobs gzas da am civi siCumisken srialebs. masSi CaZirvisas TiTqmis netarebas ganicdi – arc tkivilia, ars araferi. TiTqmis netarebaa.

carieli, broliani, magram TiTqmis bednierebaa. wkriala araferia. da mxolod es “TiTqmis” uSfoTvel caze erTaderT pafara Rrubelad rCeba. SemiZlia Tu ara, am “TiTqmis”-s davemorCilo?

susti adgili yvelas aqvs. da es swored is adgilia, romelic mas Zliers xdis.

garSemo aCrdilebia, aCrdilebi... rogor ar gavxde mizantropi? yvela SiSisgan kankalebs, rom Tuki gverdze nabijs gadadgams, iq ucnobi elodeba, amitomac yvela Tavis gubeSi zis. gubedan amovcocdi – mere ra? nuTu axla dilema isaa, rom an adamianebs unda davSorde, an gubeSi davbrunde? adamianma SeiZleba ifiqros, rom Zvelsa da axal cxovrebas Soris xids aSenebs – magram am ufskruls xidebiT ver gaagrZeleb, nebismier xids ukan mihyavxar, is arasodes iqneba bolomde aSenebuli – cnobilsa da ucnobs Soris ufskruli Zalian ganieria – es ubralod cxovrebis sxvadasxva wesebia. da xidebis mSeneblobebi TviTdawynarebisa da daZinebis mxolod SesaniSnavi xerxia. ufskruls mxolod naxtomiT gadalaxav – sasowarkveTili, uimedo naxtomiT. vin ityvis – mzad var? amis Tqmis Semdeg vin gadaxteba? yvela, vinc gadaxteba – miaRwevs – magram amas ver gaigeb, sanam ar gadaxtebi. ukan dabruneba ukve ar SemiZlia, sad SemiZlia... cixeSi sakuTari nebiT... amitomac vgrZnob, rom nela, magram erTgulad mivdivar – sul ufro Sors da Sors. is, rac maRelvebs, is horizontebi, romlebic Cems winaSi iSleba – maT ukve veravis vaCveneb, radgan maTi danaxvisTvis saWiroa, sul cota, Tvalebis aweva da mxedvelobis velidan bordiurebiani trotuaris gaSveba. yoveli saaTiT uimedod vSordebi – mxolod siyvaruls SeuZlia, warmoudgenel ufskrulebze warmoudgeneli kavSiri aagos. mxolos pirveli Sexedvidan da ukan daxevis gareSe siyvarulis mjera.

 

rodesac mis Tvalebs vuyurebdi da iq usasrulo siyvaruls vxedavdi – ra iyo es sinamdvileSi? amJamad sakuTar Tavs amaze unda vkiTxo – ara, amJamad sakuTar Tavs pasuxi unda gavce am SekiTxvas. rodesac mis Tvalebs vuyurebdi – ras vxedavdi iq sinamdvileSi? SeiZleba, misi Tvalebi mxolod sarke iyo, romelSic sakuTari sigiJis anarekls vxedavdi? sarkiT dafaruli Tvalebi – aris amaSi raRaca – mowyenilobas ganicdi – mowyenilobas dainaxav, vnebas Tu ganicdi – vnebas dainaxav. xolo ras Svreba guli, Seni guli – gana is gareT ar miiswrafvis, gana sarkian safars ar aZrobs? rogorc Cans, ara, albaT SiSma da sikvdilma TavianT zeimze iq ukve iceqves.

sadac Txelia, iq ki ar irRveva. mxolod im SemTxvevaSi, Tuki es – gamsWvalavi siyvarulis natifi grZnobaa.

ar miyvars grZnobebis gagebamde dayvana. gageba xom aviwroebs, Wris, akonkretebs. ase Tu ise, gageba mTel samyaros sakuTari gulisTvis agdebs. grZnoba ki piriqiT – mas mTeli samyaro miaqvs, wvrilmans ki uars ambobs. yvela nivTi ucnobi ufskrulidan Cndeba da yvela nivTis meSveobiT am ufskrulSi Sexedva SegiZlia. me ufskrulSi siyvarulis meSveobiT Sexedvas vaniWeb upiratesobas – ara, TviT siyvaruli ufskrulia. rodesac grZnoba umaRles wertils aRwevs, Cumdebi. magram mere aRmoCndeba, rom aris ufro maRali wertili, da amaze ufro maRalic ki, da a.S.

“SegekiTxebian – ityvi.

ar SegekiTxebian – ar ityvi.

ra imaleba Sens sulSi,

keTilSobilo bodhixarmao?”

 

 

 

03-02-02) ,,Sexvedra"

 

Sens suraTs vuyureb. erTi ... ori wuTia daJinebiT vuyureb, Tvalebs raRacaze fokusirebis gareSe, yuradReba nel-nela bodials iwyebs, foto cocxldeba, gamosaxuleba kankals iwyebs, TvalebSi amiWrelda... divanis win vdgevar, romelzec Sen wevxar. ar vici - rogor vimoZrao. Sens fexebTan axlos jdoma mizidavs. vjdebi axlos, msubuqad xri fexebs, rom adgili damiTmo, uecrad Cemi xeli Seni fexebisken miiwevs da akavebs maT - ar minda, rom gawio isini. zustad im momentSi Cemi yuradReba xelebis moZraobasTan erTad kvaldakval Senს fexebs gaswvrivსsrialebs ... adis zeviT, Seni marcxena fexis muxlTan, romelic marjvena fexze devs... Cems Tvalwin narinjisferi elferia - es imis feria, Tu rogor devs Seni fexi, romelic Cemi moZraobis gamo odnav qanaobs.... uecrad Seni fexis wonas vgrZnob, imas vgrZnob, rogor Tavisi simZimiT awveba meore fexs, me frTxilad marxcena xeliT viReb fexisguls, da marjvenaTi - odnav zemoT - koWs da iseT Rones vxmarob, TiTqos minda odnav avwio, rom es wona gaxdes ufro realuri da uceb CemSi siTbos vgrZnob - simxurvales vgrZnob - vgrZnob siTbos iq - Seno TeZoebis SuaSi, sadac isini Seexebian erTmaneTs. aSkarad vgrZnob, Tu rogor Seni TeZoebis Sualedi oflis wveTebiT Seinama - Zalian cxela imisTvis, rom Seni fexebi davikavo. riTi vgrZnob amas? ar vici - albaT guliT. msubuq Zalas viyeneb, Sens fexs viReb da Cems Mmuxlebze vdeb. marcxena xeliT isev Seni fexisguli miWiravs, da Cemi xelisguli Seni fexis gemovnebiT ivseba - xels ar vamoZraveb - is TviTon msubuqad srialebs fexebze - da Cerdeba adgilze, da isev srialebs. Cemi TiTis wverebi Seni TiTebis wverebs exeba, ekvreba maT, raRac mcire kankalia - ufro swored, maT Soris vibracia Cndeba da mas sdevs simxurvale, romelic Seni TeZoebis samyarodan gamovarda... Cemi xelis guliT Seni fexisgulis gemos aSkarad vgrZnob, TiTqos da Sevexe mas eniT... mcxela... meore xeliT Seni fexis TiTebs veferebi da vxvdebi - ase kargad vgrZnob Tavs... Sen msubuqad divanze brundebi, zurgze wvebi, meore Seni fexi Tavis adgils ver poulobs da vexmarebi mas Cem muxlebze rom davawvino. Seni Tavi isev ukanaa gadaxreuli, magram es axla fotogenurisaTvis araa, amJamad es energiis RerZia, romelic Cemi xelisgulisa da Seni fexilgulis urTierTSexebis wertilidan gamovarda, Sedis Sen sxeulSi da gaiZulebs spazmaturad-tkbilad gaiWimo... Seni muxlebi odnav gaSlilia mxrebze - daxmarebis umweod-vnebiT.... Cemi xeli maTken srialebs, vgrZnob Sen muxls... magram isev vbrundebi ukan... ritmi matulobs... rogori ritmi? risi ritmi? ar vici - es siCumis ritmia, es Cems gulSi siTbos cemis ritmia. orive xeliT Sen xelisguls viReb, Cemi xelebi mas saxesTan mizidaven, Sens xelisguls Cems loyasTan vikrav... aSkarad Seni fexisgulis gemos vgrZnob, TiTqos da Sevexe mas eniT... TiTqos da es ar mawyobs... TiTqos da... minda misi gemo sinamdvileSi vigrZno. eniT gexebi... naperwkalma mTel tanze gamiara, SevkrTi TiTqos denma damartya da zustad igive SenSic xdeba. Seni muxli ikeceba, TiTqos kunTis krunCxva dagemarTa, ZaliT viReb Sens fexs, eniT Sens fexisguls vexebi - nel-nela, vtkbebi aseTi umanko da aseTi aforiakebuli seqsualuri moqmedebiT, kolgotis qsovilis qveS Sens sxeuls vgrZnob, Sens gemos vgrZnob... is Cadis qvemoT, rbilad afarebs Cems mkerds, Cems mucels, qvemoT... yvelaferi am gemos sicxeSia moxveuli... enas TiTebis qveS vusvam, da es ukve TiTqmis autanelia. kbilebiT odnav Sens TiTebs vkben... Sen mTeli taniT caxcaxeb, msubuqi yvirili.. da vxedav, rom Seni fexebis Sua sivrceSi - iq, siRrmeSi cecxlovani sfero ainTo... mis SesaxvedraT uqve dgeba cecxlis boZi CemSi, boqvenis siRrmeSi.. es jer winaTgrZnobaa, es kidev mxolod qaris pirveli daqrolebaa qariSxalis winaSe, da misi mrisxane momaswaveblebiT Cans simZlavre, rodis is daiSleba Cveni sxeulisa da sulebis sivrceSi.

 

dasaZineblad rom vwvebi, gexutebi da Sens SegrZnebas viwyeb. daZinebas ar giSli - ubralod nazad geferebi mkerdze. es Tavidan. magram mere Tavs veRar vikaveb da Sens mkerds tuCebiT vexebi, eniT Rarss mivyvebi. magram amis atana didxans ar SeiZleba - vwvebi Senze, Seni xelebi Cems xelebs poulobs, xolo tuCebi - Cveni tuCebi... maT cxovreba erTmaneTis gareSe ar SeuZliaT -maT es ar SeuZlia - ar SeiZleba. Sens loyebs vkocni, Sens cxvirs, Subls, magram es CemTvis cotaa. da me rogorc erTguli ZaRli Sens saxes vlokav da ar SemiZlia gavCerde, da amiT SenSi ibadeba iseTi ram... rom Seni fexebi TavisiT iSleba, miWeren da mizidaven, maiZuleben - Cqara, axla, droze Sedi... me vtkbebi imiT, rasac vgrZnob, Seni Zlieri fexebi rogor mibiZgeben... ubralod davemorCilo maT nebas, Sens tuCebs vcildebi, vjdebi, Seni fexebi mexveva da dayovnebas ver iTmens. xelebs Sen TeZoebze valageb da vikaveb maT. Sen miaxlovdebi ise mWidrod - meti siaxlove ukve SeuZlebelia - es mxolod SigniT... vici - ra minda, da Cemi xelebi dakavebulia imiT, rom Sens xelebs davelodo - Sens fexebs vwev, TiToeuls koWebamde, vixuteb koWebs saxeze, da velodebi... Zala, rom dagelodo, ukve ar maqvs, magram gelodebi... da Seni xelebi Cems asos pouloben, Seni TiTebi uWeren mas da ivsebian guguniT da kankaliT, daclili lodinisagan, nel-nela moZraobas viwyeb, da is Sen xelSi srialebs. mWidroT ikrav mas, da misi sriali ukve iseTi umanko araa - odnav viwevi da amiT saSualebas gaZlev, odnav qveviT daixaro, da ai is rbilad raRac cxelSi da namianSi Sedis. Sens fexebs uSveb, isini daZabuli da moqnili xdeba, TiTqos marwuxiT var moWerili, Sens xelebs vexvevi, imitom rom maTi gaSveba ar SeiZleboda, vgrZnob rogor pataravdeba da diddeba Seni muStebi Cemi asos moZraobisgan gamomdinare, risi simxurvale Sens TiTebSi gadis da Cems TiTebs aRwevs. da ai vgrZnob, rom SesasvlelTan vdgevar. da mainc - kvlav davZlie Tavi - jer viwevi da valageb xelebs zemodan... Cemi TiTebiT Sens tuCebs vSli da isini nel-nela sveldeba - minda maTi gemo gavigo - gverdze viwevi da Sens fexebTan vwvebi, magram Seni xelebi meZebs. maSin vbrundebi da Senze zemodan vwvebi. axla ukve Cems da Sens xelebs da fexebs SeuZliaT yvelaferi ipovon, rasac moisurveben. xelebs Sens dundulebis qveS vdeb da isini maRla iwevs. Cemi tuCebiT Sens tuCebs vexebi, Seni sinamiT viJRenTebi, eniT Sua adgils vexebi, odnav vexebi Riobs, romelic spazmatikur vnebaSi xan ikumSeba, xan iReba - enis wveriT msubuqad Sevdivar SigniT... da am momentSi wamier daZabulobaSi CaviZniqebi, imitom rom Seni xelebi, romlebic Cems asos iWerda, adgili naz enas dauTmo - aRar SemiZlia - vexvevi imas risi asoTi darqmeva ukve SeuZlebelia - Cems cecxls Sens tuCebs mivaWer, isini nel-nela ixsneba da SigniT Sevdivar, xolo Cemi ena SenSi Sedis da Cveni xmebi kvnesiTY erwymeva...

 

Cven arafris gakeTeba ukve ar SegviZlia - me SenSi var - ara, Cven erTmaneTis SigniT varT da vwevvarT, vgrZnobT Tu rogor Cveni sulebi erTmaneTSi ise Sedian, rogorc adre SeuZlebeli iyo. me enas wreze vamoZraveb - SenSi, da vgrZnob, Tu rogor Seni kbilebiT mesobi, da am dros ena nazadaa moWerili. vmoZraob, da Seni xelebi Cems dundulebze arian, da maTTan erTad ewevian da eSvebian, ase Zalian iWer maT...

 

da Tu is, rac daviwyeT, ar iqneboda, Cven ukve aTjer SegveZlo orhazmis gancda, magram es CvenTvis araa. me vwvebi axlos, Sens ZuZusTavebs vkocni - nazad vkben maT - Cven vexveviT - vcaxcaxebT vnebisgan. unda daviZinoT, rom diliT gaviRviZoT da yvelaferi Tavidan daviwyoT, magram ukve energiisa da siyvarulis axal xveulze. nuTu SeiZleba Zili, rodesac Cven ase aRznebulebi varT? nuTu SeiZleba daviZinoT, rodesac Cveni sxeulebi gadaxlarTulia, rodesac mzad xar kbilebiT sabani daglijo, romelic gvafaria, rom naxo Cemi sxeuli, rodesac ara Seni dapyroba - aramed - gaupatiureba minda. minda gece, Seni xelebi davaba, Seni fexebi gavSalo - uxamsad vulgarulad - vnebis mTeli simZafriT Segido - rom veluri vnebisagan iyviro, xeli wagavlo da Seni mkerdi didxans meWiros - gealerso manam sanam Seni yvirili xrialSi, kvnesaSi, ymulSi ar gadaiqceva, sanam wremlebi Seni Tvalebidan ar waaskdeba, da maSin mogetmasnebi da Cven SevxedavT erTmaneTs TvalebSi sanam ganabulebi afeTqebas ar ganvicdiT. metis SemZleebi rom viyoT, vizamdiT amas... miuxedavaT amisa, SeiZleba daviZinoT - Cven viswavliT Zils, roca sxeuli duRs da suli anaTebs, raTa xval gaviRviZoT da Cveni svla ganvagrZod.... xval - es, cota ar iyos, gulupryvilod JRers, radgan Cven erT saaTSi viRviZebT da veZgerebiT

erTmaneTs, rom daixio ukan da isev daiZino da isev gaiRviZo...

 

aris Tu ara es Seni sizmari? aso gamosuli saSodan - romelic agznebulia menstrualuri sisxliT - es gulidan gamosuli xanjalia. ZuZusTavebi sisxlis ferisaa da sisxli ZuZusTavebis ferisaa. fexebi gadaSlilia da odnav Sekecilia muxlebSi - koWebi, Zalisagan daclili gaSxlarTulia gverdebze... Tvalebi vnebisagan uelamdeba. nestoebi eniT Sexebisas alRoiani da mgrZnobiare xdeba, naxevrad moRebuli piri, romlis miRma namiani movardisfero ena igulisxmeba, romelic jer kidev asosos gemos inaxavs, gemo da cnobiereba imisa, rom mas swored ase unda gaaTavos - pirSi - yvelaferi es gansakuTrebul daZabulobasa da vnebas qmnis. misi tuCebi Sens fexebs kocnis da Seni fexis TiTebs kbens, nazad exeba maT eniT. Sen tuCebiT mis mgznebare da daZabul asos ipyrob, romlisTvisac Seni piri pataraa da asoze Zirze xelebis Semovleba giwevs, asos mkvrivi Tavi Seni enis gaswvriv yelisken srialebis, Cerdeba, brundeba tuCebTan da isev siRrmisken miiswrafvis. xelebs mis mkvriv dundulebze awyob, da frCxilebiT kawrav, qvemoT migyavs... da xangrZlivi msubuqi kvnesa agRmogxdeba, rodesac Seni TiTi boqvenis qveviT siRmisken Cacurdeba . . . da misi mxurvale ena gabruebs, romelic ealerseba Sens klitors da tuCebs, SenSi myofi misi TiTebi - msubuqad da sakmaod sagrZnoblad kben asos, is TiTqos SenSi Sebmuli cxeni, Tavs ver ikavebs, feTqavs Sen pirSi da uceb cxeli spermis nakakdi... da misi Tavi, romelic TeZoebiT kunTebis erTian dartymaSi giWiravs, da spazmurad SekumSuli muclis kunTebi, romlebic Sengan vnebisa da Zalenis narCenebs wuraven, da misi xelebi, romlebmac Seni muxlebi moicva, da Seni mkerdi, romelic vnebis cecxliTaa moculi, da ZuZusTavebi, romlebic mkvrivi da misi muclis msubuq SexebebTan mimarTebaSic ki ugonod mgrZnobiare gaxda.

 

ra kargi iyo dRes SenTan erTad yofna... Cveni alersi - iseTi bunebrivi da iseTi mSvenieria - rogorc kurdRlebis TamaSi mindorze mzis qveS... rogorc ayvavebuli alubali... es Zalian saocaria - umaRlesi erotikuli siamovnebis miReba, da masSi estetikuri siamovnebacaa, da aqve Cemi fiqri xarobs, romelic Zalian nazad gvexeba da Tavis gamosaxulebebSi, asociaciebSi TamaSiviT trialebs, araCveulebriv paradoqsebs da moulodnel brolis urTierTobebs xedavs, Cemi guli irekleba SenSi, mTeli Cemi arseba - es ubralo organia - es eolosis arfaa, romelzec Seni siyvarulis sio ukravs... Cveni xmebi erTmaneTs erwymis da araferi zedmeti ar arsebobs.. ukve gZinavs amJamad, malulad vkecav Sens sabans da giyureb... wynarad sunTqav, Seni mkerdi... rogor mizidavs is axla... ra bednieri xar - ukve gZinavs! Zalian Cumad - oRond ar gagaRviZo - tuCebiT Sens ZuZusTavs vexebi... viReb mas pirSi da ubralod ase miWiravs... Sens sabans vaSoreb - CemTan aq sicxea, Sen ar gaiyinebi... ra lamazi xar... Sens xelebs majidan idayvamde vkocni, idayvidan mxarebamde... riTi vuSvelo Cems asos, is saSinlad daZabulia... imiT Sens TeZos vexebi da vCumdebi... frTxilad - Zalian Cumad Senze Cems fexs vdeb da asoTi mWidrod getmasnebi. . . gZinavs . . . tuCebiT odnav Sen tuCebs vexebi da Sens gverdiT muxlebze vdgebi . ra mSvenieri xar . . . Seni sxeuli ZilSic ki vnebiT sunTqavs . . . Seni xeli Sublze gidevs . . me vireb mas da cxviriT Sen fexebs Soris RrmulSi veflobi. rogori surnelia mand. . . ra sasiamovnoa . . . ra bednierebaa, Sen ise daiRale, rom abazanaSi ver Sexvedi! mTeli mkerdiT vsunTqav mas da is CemSi Sedis, filTvebs mavsebs, iJRenTeba Cems sisxlSi, Sedis Cems sxeulSi... rogorc qurdi, rogorc Ramis qurdi me malulad Sens fexis gulebs vkocni - ise miyvars maTi mofereba... da ia Cemi loya ukve Seni kanis sinazes grZnobs, da Cemi tuCebi exeba maT ... me vwev Sens fexs da vaSoreb mas meoresagan... da uceb fantazia momdis - Sens TavTan vjdebi da asoTi Sens saxes vexebi... es autanelia... mimyavs igi Sens TvalebTan, cxvirTan, tuCebTan, vjdebi Senze zemoT, Cemi asos Tavi rbilad exeba Sens tuCebs.. sad vpoulob Zalas, rom moviTmino yvelaferi es, ar vici... viReb asos xelSi da Sens tuCebs vexebi... kidev... kidev... minda SigniT moxvde... oRond ar gagaRviZo.. Cemi TiTebi Sens TuCebs Soris SeaRwia da kbilebs gaswevs, nela... Zalian nela... da ai ukve SesaZlebelia, magram ver vbedav, aso sazRvarze gaCerda da Sevdivar... Sevdivar... gavirinddi... Sens saxes vuyureb... Cems asos, romelic gaberda da zuzunebs, magram Cems asos mxolod naxevrad vxedav... da uceb Seni enis Sexebas da Sekvruli tuCebis moferebas vgrZnob... magram ara, ar gaRviZebulxar... patara bavSviviT ubralob Sens sawovaras wuwni... es... Tavi rogor Sevikavo.. tuCs kvnetav da sisxlis gemos vgrZnob... mxolod es mafxizlebs... Zalian nela da Zalian Cumad moZraobas viwyeb - Seni saxisgan, Seni tuCebisgan, romlebSic Cemi aso aRwevs da ukan ixevs Tvalis mowyveta ar SemiZlia... albaT, karg sizmars xedav... SeiZleba, swored is gesizmreba, rac amJamad gemarTeba. Sens Tvalebs vuyureb, daxuWul quTuToebs miRma vaRwev da vxedav... vxedav... diax, vxedav... gesizmreba, rom mZinavs, Sen ki tuCebiT nazad Cems asos eferebi, eniT wvers exebi, xarbianad lokav mas, Seni ena yvelgan gaivlis, im vnebis gemoTi tkbeba, romelic Cven saRamos gvqonda... cxviriT Cems asos fSvnetav, tuCebiT svel asos wvers exebi, nela, avxorculi winaaRmdegobiT Tavs xri, iReb mas SenSi da kben... raTa misi drekadoba ganicado, da Sens TavSic mxiaruli azri mogdis - qvemoT Cadixar, Cems fexebs Soris wvebi, muxlebs kocni, maTgan moSoreba iseTi Znelia... mtkice mamakacuri muxlis turfa silamaze... muxls zemoT fexs kben da drekadi kunTebi Sens kbilebs qveS odnav idrekeba... isev zemoT miiwev, mouTmenlad Sli Cems fexebs, asos Tavs exebi, xelSi iREb mas, zemoT wev, qvemoT midixar... eniT usvam... orive vekrTebiT - Seni ena nela mefereba... da mas ise unda siRrmeSi Sesvla... vis ra esizmreba?.. didi xania, amaze araferi vici... SeiZleba, me mesizmreba, rom Sen gesizmreba es... nazad Senze vwvebi, mTel Sens sxeuls Cems qveS vgrZnob, Cemi aso Sens Subls etakeba, cotaTi qvemoT Cavdivar... sizmarSi es SesaZlebelia... sizmarSi... es mxolod sizmaria... albaT... Sens saxes vuyureb da vgrZnob, rogor memorCileba iq... rogor iSleba da miSvebs... ase mZinered... ase uneburad minebdeba... da ai TuCebic iSleba, iq ki... iq tropikebia, imdeni sinamea... siRrmeSi SeRweva - erTi wamis saqmea, magram amas, meCveneba, mTeli saaTiT vaweleb... coTaTi wamoviwev, fexebs Seni fexebis gverdiT vdeb da vWimav maT... axla Seni fexebi mWidrodaa miweuli, da maTSi TviT SuagulSi Sedis... Senze vwvebi, yelze gexuTebi, Tvalebs vxuWav, vnebdebi... ubralod vwevvar Senze... TiTqmis umankod... amJamad mxolod neli sriali... usazRvrod neli sriali... sad?.. sadRac ucxo yofierebaSi vsrialdebi... es sizmaric araa... oriveni ukve erTad varT - erTad varT - mze, balaxi, gamWvirvale wyali... mdinaris piras vzivarT... fexebi qvemoT CauSvi, uknidan gexuTebi da Sens Tmebs vkocni... Cvenma xelebma erTmaneTi ipoves da miyuCnen... maradisoba gviyurebs da Cveni warmavloba Sers... Zlieri da cisferTvaliani adamianebi Cagvivlian da gveRimebian, Cven maT siciliT vpasuxobT... es sicili vercxlisferi Weqa-quxiliviT Cvens Tavze gruxunebs da cidan oqros wvima cviva, msubuqi oqrosferi nakadi... samyaro moulodnelad iRuneba da Tavis uTvalav ganzomilebebs xsnis, xedva yvelgan aRwevs - da xdeba yvelaferi, rasac xedavs... da miuwvdomelis erTian wamSi uTvalav gadaqcevebs ganvicdiT...

 

 

 

03-02-03) ,,wiTeli mocvi - gemrieli kenkraa"

 

1. maT erTmaneTi ipoves - gzis mtversa, pirovnuli gaWirvebebis, aRtacebebisa da amaoebas Soris - maT erTmaneTi ipoves. da es kargi iyo. bina daiqiraves, samuSaoc bevrad ar awuxebdaT - dro hqondaT, iyo siyvaruli, iyo ubralod naTeli grZnoba imisa, rom samyaro saWiro mimarTulebiT trialebs. maT oroTaxiani bina daiqiraves, pirvelSi, romelic ufro patara iyo, nivTebi Cayares, did oTaxSi ki TviTon ganlagdnen. patara oTaxSi raRaca aratradiciulis mowyoba undodaT, raTa iq aveji saerTod ar iyos, idos fafuki xaliCa, iyos bevri mcenare, haeri da sinaTle - magram manamde yvela nagvis gatana undodaT. erTi Tve gavida. oTaxi isev daulagebeli iyo - xan erTi, xan meore - Tqvenc kargad iciT - wesrigia, rodesac yvelaferi sufTadaa, xolo bolomde Tu ar daalageb - TiTqos iSrome, magram wesrigi aRaraa - sawyenia - ase rom, isini moments elodnen, rodesac Zalebi eyofad rac SeiZleba meti haeri CaisunTqon da erTi dartymiT gaimarjvon. kidev erTi Tve gavida. oTaxi Tavisebur punqtad iqca, romlis garSemoc uamravi Cacineba trialebda - maT uyvardaT sakuTari Tavis dacinva da gegmebis Sedgenasac agrZelebdnen imaze, Tu ra kargi iqneba, rodesac isini mainc daalageben iqaurobas. maT raRacnairi kameruli - ojaxuri - folklori Camoayalibes, romelSic oTaxi centralur rols TamaSobda - es sasaciloc iyo da mravlis momtanic. da ai, dadga dro - maT dilidanve adgnen da energiulad dalagebas miadgnen. RmerTo, ramdeni nagavi gaitanes, ramdeni mtveri, uamravi wigni... saRamos samzareuloSi Sexvdnen - rogorc amboben - daRlilebi, magram kmayofilni iyvnen... man CaixuTa gogonas - gogonam gaicina. oTaxs gverdze rom gaiares, Tavi ver Seikaves, kidev erTxel iq rom ar CaexedaT. oTaxi brwyinavda. iatakze fafuki xaliCa ido. kuTxeSi - mdidruli palma idga. komfortuli lampionebi, rbili savarZeli - rom Semodixar, iseT rbil, araakviatebul komforts grZnob - sxeulisa da sulisa - Tvals araferze wamosdeb - didi Tavisufali sivrce - didi sivrce TavSi. maT SuaoTaxSi fexSiSvelni idgnen, CaxuTebulni, da am momentSi igrZnes - maT saerTo ukve araferi aqvT - rogorc aRmoCnda, es idea maT Soris erTaderTi patara xidi iyo - axla ki xidi daingra, mis adgilas ki moulodnelad araferi aRmoCnda. maT ase kidev oc wuTs idgnen, sasaubro araferi hqondaT - saubrebmac, rogorc Canda, yvela azri dakarga. meore dRes maT sabolood daSordnen.

 

2. es samagaliTo xumroba iyo. Tqven albaT iciT - uaxlovdebi gogonas da eubnebi: "miyvarxar...", xolo pauzis Semdeg - visac ramdenis moTmena SeuZlia - raTa Tanaklaselebma sicilis atexva ver moaswron, gogonam ki Secbuneba da gawiTleba moaswros - amateb: "miyvars, cocxiT derefanze gagireko". es xumroba bevrisTvisaa cnobili, magram yovel jerze is mainc Zalian efeqturi iyo. rodesac klasSi axali gogona modioda, biWi icoda, rom masTan am xumrobas gaaTamaSebda.

gogonam CanTa daalaga, da raRacaze daZabuli fiqriT gasasvlelisken daiZra. man gza gadauketa. gogonam mas mxrebiT Seexo da, misi daumorCileblobiT gaocebulma - raRacnairad mouxerxeblad merxs daeyrdno. biWi mas pirdapir uyurebda. yvelas eCveneboda, rom win komedia elodebodad. man ki, xmauriani sicilis molodinSi, xmamaRla Tqva: "miyvarxar..." da pauza gaagrZela. icoda, rom rac ufro xangrZlivi iqneba pauza, miT ufro swori iqneba dartyma. gverdiTi mzeriT xedavda, rogor yvela sicilSi CavardnisTvis emzadeboda, raTa gakveTilis daZabuloba moexsnaT. gogona ar gawiTlebula, pauza iweleboda. igi ubralod idga da uyurebda - sadRac siRrmeSi - biWis Rrma SuagulSi... isini quCaSi gavidnen - mziani dRe iyo - gubeebi ukve Sreboda.

 

3. man diliT qalaqSi Sevida. viRacam, SeiZleba, amaSi raime azri dainaxos, viRacam ki ara. me TviTon amas martivad vuyureb - Sevida da Sevida, mere ra. mze ukve amodioda, viwro quCebis asfalti daTba. es siTbo ar aTbobda, magram gaTbobas hpirdeboda. da es dapireba misTvis mimzidveli iyo. CemTvis misi gasagebia - dapireba - es yovelTvis siaxlea, nebismier garkveulobaze gamWvirvalea - Tuki es garkveuloba iseTi ki araa, romelic Tavis ZirSi sicarieles Seicavs, romelSic nebismier momentSi yvelaferi SeiZleba afeTqdes. igi, ra Tqma unda, quCebSi adamianebsac xvdeboda - adamianebis gareSe qalaqi ginaxiaT? - magram maTi saxeebi burusiT iyo moculi - msubuqi burusiT, romelic zogierTis saxis detalebs afarebda, zogierTebis saxeebi ki saerTod ar Canda. SeiZleba, es ubralod anaorTqli iyo, mzis sxivebiT gamsWvalavi anaorTqli aseT ucnaur suraTs qmnida. igi raime garkveuli miznis gareSe midioda - igi axlaxans daibada da mizani mas jer ar hqonda.

zogjer xan saxlis fasadi, xan gaugebari saubris nawyvetebi mas ufro mets aZlevdnen, vidre ubralod STabeWdileba - amas SeiZleba, mogoneba davarqvaT, magram, ra Tqma unda, es mogonebac ar yofila, radgan man axlaxans daibada da samaxsovro araferi aqvs. rodesac zRvam nafirze gamoagdo, rodesac xeebma moixares da TavianTi rtoebidan miwaze msubuqad CamouSves, balaxma gza gaxsna, da is gza naTeli iyo, da yvelaferi iyo martivi. rodesac balaxi damTavrda, mtvermac gzaze mis winaSe gamoifina da gza isev naTeli iyo. mis gulSi arc erTi fiqri ar dabadebula - TavSi fiqrebi ki mas ar uyvarda - maT imdenad ar esimpatiureboda, rom fiqrebi amas Soridanac grZnobdnen da cdilobdnen, gverdi auaron mas. siRrmidan sxvadasxva saocari arseba Tavs gamohyofda, magram isinic ki ufro Rrmad CaZirvas cdilobdnen, rodesac igi maT ubralod gadauvlida Tvals. rodesac grZeli yviTeli gadabrunebuli TeTrfanjrebiani fasadis gaswvriv midioda, amoiyuryumelava Tevzi saxeliT martooba - Tavi daatriala, ca naTeli iyo. mas arc ankesi hqonda arc Tevzaobis survili - da Tevzi wavida, kuds misi nabijebis taqtis mixedviT aqnevda, da am yvelafris gamo Tavs ise kargad grZnobda, rom gzamac siamovnebidan gaiRuna da igi iZulebuliyo, asfaltze naxvretis irgvliv patara wrec ki daertya.

 

naxvreti mis gulSi iyo. anu, ra Tqma unda, Cven yvelani viciT, rom araviTari naxvreti iq ar arsebobs, xeliT Semowmebac SeiZleba, Tu ki vinme gadareula da ar icis, aqvs naxvreti gulSi Tu ara - magram mas gulSi naxvreti hqonda - da masSi qaric uberavda - qari iasamnisferis iyo da welvadi, ukana mxridan isxltomoda, mis Tmebs CeCavda da isini mis kefaze ise sasacilod iyo gamoSverili.

 

gogona meore sarTulze fanjaraze fexCaSvebuli ijda. mas dedac da mamac eubnebobdnen, rom ase jdoma ar SeiZleba, magram misTvis sul erTi iyo, ded-mama erTdroulad rom mokvdebodnen ki, igi, SeiZleba, cotaTi itirebda, magram Zalian cota xans - ase tirian, rodesac baRSi gamxmar buCqs gatexaven, romlis CrdilSi jdoma ase uyvarda. gogona aq ukve ori saaTi ijda - mzem misi fexebi gaaTbo, amis gamo rbili Ratuni igrZnoboda, romelic zemoT iwevda, qvedabolos qveS, da rbilad ifanTeboda iRliebSi. rogor amboben, "iRliebSi" Tu sxvagvarad amboben? sul erTia - mis iRliebSi mainc Zalian tkbili da Tbili grZnoba iyo.

rodesac man xeivans miuaxlovda, sadac alvis xeebi izrdeboda, mis saxeSi maT bumbulis grova isroles. mas Zalian gauxarda, magram es ar aCvena - dae, ifiqron, rom misTvis sul erTia, rom raRacaze fiqrobs, da es bumbuli misTvis sulac araferia... xolo uaxloesi quCisken mas fexebma TavisiT miiyvana. Tvalebi uceb gogonas fexebze gaCerda. isini imdenad gemrieli iyo, nazi TiTebi, brtyeli bumbuli, romelic SeiZleba, mxolod im SemTxvevaSi dainaxo, Tu Zalian axlos mixval, imdenad axlos, rom kanis suns advilad SeigrZnob. man miuaxlovda, gaCerda da Tavi aswia. gogonas qvedabolos qveS vardisferi kurdRlebi xtunaobda da yuradRebis dapyrobas uSlida xels. biWma Tvalebi ufro zeviT aswia da misi Tvalebi dainaxa. da maSin ca gaixsna da iquxa.

 

                      ***

 

- gicnob Sen?

- gicnob Sen?

- gicnob Sen.

- gicnob Sen.

- nisli iyo, iasamani iyo, Savi miwa iyo, Cemi xedva gamWvirvale iyo, Cemma xmam miRalata, yelSi gamiCxira, mkerdma iyvira, grigalma itriala, gaviRviZe da Tavs vurtyamdi. isev daZineba mindoda, erTi wami sizmrisTvis yvelafers mivcemdi - imdeni velode, ise vocnebobdi, da ra - es yvelaferi sizmris erT wamSi meRirsa? sizmari, romelis cremliviT sufTaa - cremlebi, romlebic sizmriviT usargebloa...

 

- ar gicnobdi, ar minaxixar, wylis wveTSi Sens anarekls ar vxedavdi, qaris xmaurSi Seni xma ar mesmoda, vocnebobdi... xis uxeSi kani, nakadulis swrafi wylebi, usazRvro ca - ise geZebdi. fexCaSvebuli vijeqi, mze TvalebSi minaTebda, mzis sxivma ielva da damabrmava, Tvalebi CavuSvi. ase gipove.

- ra SegviZlia vuTxraT erTmaneTs?

- saubari ar gviRirs.

- ra SeiZleba, gavakeToT erTmaneTisTvis?

- yvelaferi ukve gakeTebulia.

- kargia.

- kargia. nuTu ise adre, ise martivad Cems cxovrebas vicxovreb? nuTu ai ase, ase martivad?

- es mxolod martivad SeiZleboda yofiliyo.

- da mere ra?

- mere araferia. ubralod araferia. ise xdeba, rom mere araferi ar aris. aris mxolod ufro Rrmad, ufro sxvanairad. axla - sxvanairadaa.

- meSinia, mixaria, Zalian-Zalian mWidrod da gaJRentilad vgrZnob Tavs.

- mcxela, mciva, wynarad var.

- isini gagviSveben?

- maT araferi ar SeuZliaT. maT sZinavT. maT TvalebSi Sexede.

-maT araferi SeuZliaT... maT sZinavT... ra kargia... ese igi, xdeba, xdeba, xdeba! SeiZleba, kidev aTasjer gavimeoro "xdeba!"

 

                           ***

 

rodesac iwvima, Ria fanjaraSi cota wyali Seasxa da xaliCa odnav dasvelda - unda gavaSroT, Torem safuZveli, SeiZleba dalpes - gavaSroT mtversasrutiT an Tundac feniT!

 

4. Tavmoxrilma, man nagvis yuTidan gadmoxta - mas aq sulac ar elodnen - yvela aqeT-iqiT gaiqca. erT-erTma maTganma ki moulodnelobis gamo pirdapir masTan gaiqca. man isrola. "tra-ta-ta-ta" - xis avtomati biWis mucels miado, biWis Tvalebi srul panikas gamoxatavda - miuxedavad imisa, rom mas mokles, isev gaiqca. "tra-ta-ta-ta" - gaisma misi misamarTiT - "geyofa cxovreba - mokvdi!" man nabijebi Seanela "meyofa cxovreba!"

buCqebSi veluri gamsWvalviT yvavi amRerda.

 

5. odnav wvimda - xan odnav Zlierad, xan ufro sustad - uceb wveTebi gaxSirda - da avtobusis gaCerebis irgvliv patara samyaro gacocxlda - adamianebi uaxloesi fardulisken daeZrnen. vamCnevdi, rogor emSvidobeboda erTmaneTs ori moxuci qalbatoni - rogorc miRebulia - rogorc Cans, ukve ramdenime wuTia maTi tuCebi Cveulad sityvebis naWuWs ReWavda, saxeebi yavisfer-gulTbili iyo. is, vins avtobuss elodeboda, afusfusda, CanTebi awia da waikoWla. moulodnelad meore moxucis saxe Seicvala, da man ratomRac iyvira "avtobusi aRar iqneba". haeri gangaSiT gaivso, morevi Seiqmna - masSi swrafad trialebda ori qali, garSemo ki brbos wynari masa idga. "avtobusi aRar iqneba!" - jiutad da uazrod agrZelebda yvirils igi. qalbatoni, romelic darboda, mobrunda - igi iRimeboda, da misi Rimilidan etyoboda - rogor eSinia da rogor scxvenia - eSinia, imitom rom Zalian SeeSinda. scxvenia, radgan situaciis absurdulobas xvdeboda, madram sakuTar Tavs ver marTavda. "avtobusi aRar iqneba!" - kidev erTxel iyvira qalma, mobrunda da wavida. yvela avtobusSi SeiWra. morevi Sewyda. rodesac Cems saxlTan vuaxlovdebodi, Cems Sesaxvedrad moxuci qali ZaRlTan erTad gamovida - saocaria... ambobdnen, rom igi celiT dadis... da misi seirnoba sulac ar iyo saWiro - isedac mivxdi yvelafers. ra uceremoniulobaa! sxvaTaSoris, CanTaSi gemrieli funCulebi momqonda!