For Larry and DanäeWith apologies for using their swimming-pool as the scene of a murder
Chapter 1
At 6:13 a.m. on a Friday morning Lucy Angkatell's big blue eyes opened upon another day, and as always, she was at once wide awake and began immediately to deal with the problems conjured up by her incredibly active mind. Feeling urgently the need of consultation and conversation, and selecting for the purpose her young cousin Midge Hardcastle, who had arrived at The Hollow the night before, Lady Angkatell slipped quickly out of bed, threw a negligee round her still graceful shoulders, and went along the passage to Midge's room. Since she was a woman of disconcertingly rapid thought processes, Lady Angkatell, as was her invariable custom, commenced the conversation in her own mind, supplying Midge's answers out of her own fertile imagination.The conversation was in full swing when Lady Angkatell flung open Midge's door."- And so, darling, you really must agree that the weekend is going to present difficulties!""Eh? Hwah?" Midge grunted inarticulately, aroused thus abruptly from a satisfying and deep sleep.Lady Angkatell crossed to the window, opening the shutters and jerking up the blind with a brisk movement, letting in the pale light of a September dawn."Birds!" she observed, peering with kindly pleasure through the pane. "So sweet.""What?""Well at any rate, the weather isn't going to present difficulties. It looks as though it had set in fine. That's something. Because if a lot of discordant personalities are boxed up indoors, I'm sure you will agree with me that it makes it ten times worse. Round games perhaps, and that would be like last year when I shall never forgive myself about poor Gerda. I said to Henry afterwards it was most thoughtless of me - and one has to have her, of course, because it would be so rude to ask John without her, but it really does make things difficult - and the worst of it is that she is so nice - really it seems odd sometimes that anyone so nice as Gerda is should be so devoid of any kind of intelligence, and if that is what they mean by the law of compensation I don't really think it is at all fair.""What are you talking about, Lucy?""The weekend, darling. The people who are coming tomorrow. I have been thinking about it all night and I have been dreadfully bothered about it. So it really is a relief to talk it over with you, Midge. You are always so sensible and practical.""Lucy," said Midge sternly, "do you know what time it is?""Not exactly, darling. I never do, you know.""It's quarter past six.""Yes, dear," said Lady Angkatell, with no signs of contrition.Midge gazed sternly at her. How maddening, how absolutely impossible Lucy was! Really, thought Midge. I don't know why we put up with her!Yet, even as she voiced the thought to herself, she was aware of the answer. Lucy Angkatell was smiling, and as Midge looked at her, she felt the extraordinary pervasive charm that Lucy had wielded all her life and that even now, at over sixty, had not failed her. Because of it, people all over the world, foreign potentates, A.D.Cs, Government officials, had endured inconvenience, annoyance and bewilderment. It was the childlike pleasure and delight in her own doing that disarmed and nullified criticism. Lucy had but to open those wide blue eyes and stretch out those fragile hands, and murmur. "Oh! but I'm so sorry..." and resentment immediately vanished."Darling," said Lady Angkatell, "I'm so sorry. You should have told me!""I'm telling you now - but it's too late! I'm thoroughly awake.""What a shame. But you will help me, won't you?""About the weekend? Why? What's wrong with it?"Lady Angkatell sat down on the edge of the bed. It was not, Midge thought, like anyone else sitting on your bed. It was as unsubstantial as though a fairy had poised itself there for a minute.Lady Angkatell stretched out fluttering white hands in a lovely, helpless gesture."All the wrong people coming - the wrong people to be together, I mean - not in themselves. They're all charming really.""Who is coming?"Midge pushed thick, wiry black hair back from her square forehead with a sturdy brown arm. Nothing unsubstantial or fairylike about her."Well, John and Gerda. That's all right by itself. I mean John is delightful - most attractive. And as for poor Gerda - well, I mean, we must all be very kind. Very, very kind."Moved by an obscure instinct of defence, Midge said:"Oh, come now, she's not as bad as that.""Oh, darling, she's pathetic. Those eyes. And she never seems to understand a single word one says.""She doesn't," said Midge. "Not what you say - but I don't know that I blame her. Your mind. Lucy, goes so fast, that to keep pace with it your conversation takes the most amazing leaps. All the connecting links are left out.""Just like a monkey," said Lady Angkatell vaguely."But who else is coming beside the Christows? Henrietta, I suppose?"Lady Angkatell's face brightened."Yes - and I really do feel that she will be a tower of strength. She always is. Henrietta, you know, is really kind - kind all through, not just on top. She will help a lot with poor Gerda. She was simply wonderful last year. That was the time we played limericks, or wordmaking, or quotations - or one of those things, and we had all finished and were reading them out when we suddenly discovered that poor dear Gerda hadn't even begun. She wasn't even sure what the game was. It was dreadful, wasn't it, Midge?""Why anyone ever comes to stay with the Angkatells, I don't know," said Midge. "What with the brainwork, and the round games, and your peculiar style of conversation, Lucy.""Yes, darling, we must be trying - and it must always be hateful for Gerda, and I often think that if she had any spirit she would stay away - but, however, there it was, and the poor dear looked so bewildered and - well - mortified, you know. And John looked so dreadfully impatient. And I simply couldn't think of how to make things all right again - and it was then that I felt so grateful to Henrietta. She turned right round to Gerda and asked about the pullover she was wearing - really a dreadful affair in faded lettuce green - too depressing and jumble sale, darling - and Gerda brightened up at once; it seems that she had knitted it herself, and Henrietta asked her for the pattern, and Gerda looked so happy and proud. And that is what I mean about Henrietta. She can always do that sort of thing. It's a kind of knack.""She takes trouble," said Midge slowly."Yes, and she knows what to say.""Ah," said Midge. "But it goes further than saying. Do you know, Lucy, that Henrietta actually knitted that pullover.""Oh, my dear." Lady Angkatell looked grave. "And wore it?""And wore it. Henrietta carries things through.""And was it very dreadful?""No. On Henrietta it looked very nice.""Well, of course, it would. That's just the difference between Henrietta and Gerda. Everything Henrietta does she does well and it turns out right. She's clever about nearly everything, as well as in her own line. I must say, Midge, that if anyone carries us through this weekend, it will be Henrietta. She will be nice to Gerda and she will amuse Henry, and she'll keep John in a good temper and I'm sure she'll be most helpful with David -""David Angkatell?""Yes. He's just down from Oxford - or perhaps Cambridge. Boys of that age are so difficult - especially when they are intellectual. David is very intellectual. One wishes that they could put off being intellectual until they were rather older. As it is, they always glower at one so and bite their nails and seem to have so many spots and sometimes an Adam's apple as well. And they either won't speak at all, or else are very loud and contradictory. Still, as I say, I am trusting to Henrietta. She is very tactful and asks the right kind of questions, and being a sculptress they respect her, especially as she doesn't just carve animals or children's heads but does advanced things like that curious affair in metal and plaster that she exhibited at the New Artists last year. It looked rather like a Heath Robinson step ladder. It was called Ascending Thought - or something like that. It is the kind of thing that would impress a boy like David... I thought myself it was just silly.""Dear Lucy!""But some of Henrietta's things I think are quite lovely. That Weeping Ash tree figure for instance.""Henrietta has a touch of real genius, I think. And she is a very lovely and satisfying person as well," said Midge.Lady Angkatell got up and drifted over to the window again. She played absentmindedly with the blind cord."Why acorns, I wonder?" she murmured."Acorns?""On the blind cord. Like pineapples on gates. I mean, there must be a reason. Because it might just as easily be a fir cone or a pear, but it's always an acorn. Mash, they call it in crosswords - you know, for pigs. So curious, I always think.""Don't ramble off, Lucy. You came in here to talk about the weekend and I can't see why you are so anxious about it. If you manage to keep off round games, and try to be coherent when you're talking to Gerda, and put Henrietta on to tame the intellectual David, where is the difficulty?""Well, for one thing, darling, Edward is coming.""Oh, Edward." Midge was silent for a moment after saying the name.Then she asked quietly:"What on earth made you ask Edward for this weekend?""I didn't, Midge. That's just it. He asked himself. Wired to know if we could have him. You know what Edward is. How sensitive. If I'd wired back 'No,' he'd probably never have asked himself again. He's like that."Midge nodded her head slowly.Yes, she thought, Edward was like that. For an instant she saw his face clearly, that very dearly loved face. A face with something of Lucy's insubstantial charm; gentle, diffident, ironic..."Dear Edward," said Lucy, echoing the thought in Midge's mind.She went on impatiently:"If only Henrietta would make up her mind to marry him. She is really fond of him, I know she is. If they had been here some weekend without the Christows... As it is, John Christow has always the most unfortunate effect on Edward. John, if you know what I mean, becomes so much more so and Edward becomes so much less so. You understand."Again Midge nodded."And I can't put the Christows off because the weekend was arranged long ago, but I do feel, Midge, that it is all going to be difficult, with David glowering and biting his nails, and with trying to keep Gerda from feeling out of it, and with John being so positive and dear Edward so negative -""The ingredients of the pudding are not promising," murmured Midge.Lucy smiled at her."Sometimes," she said meditatively, "things arrange themselves quite simply. I've asked the crime man to lunch on Sunday. It will make a distraction, don't you think so?""Crime man?""Like an egg," said Lady Angkatell. "He was in Baghdad, solving something, when Henry was high commissioner. Or perhaps it was afterwards? We had him to lunch with some other duty people. He had on a white duck suit, I remember, and a pink flower in his buttonhole, and black patent leather shoes. I don't remember much about it because I never think it's very interesting who killed who. I mean once they are dead it doesn't seem to matter why, and to make a fuss about it all seems so silly.""But have you any crimes down here, Lucy?""Oh, no, darling. He's in one of those funny new cottages - you know, beams that bump your head and a lot of very good plumbing and quite the wrong kind of garden. London people like that sort of thing. There's an actress in the other, I believe. They don't live in them all the time like we do. Still," Lady Angkatell moved vaguely across the room, "I daresay it pleases them. Midge darling, it's sweet of you to have been so helpful.""I don't think I have been so very helpful.""Oh, haven't you?" Lucy Angkatell looked surprised. "Well, have a nice sleep now and don't get up to breakfast, and when you do get up, do be as rude as ever you like.""Rude?" Midge looked surprised. "Why? Oh!" she laughed. "I see! Penetrating of you, Lucy. Perhaps I'll take you at your word."Lady Angkatell smiled and went out. As she passed the open bathroom door and saw the kettle and gas ring, an idea came to her.People were fond of tea, she knew - and Midge wouldn't be called for hours. She would make Midge some tea. She put the kettle on and then went on down the passage.She paused at her husband's door and turned the handle, but Sir Henry Angkatell, that able administrator, knew his Lucy. He was extremely fond of her but he liked his morning sleep undisturbed. The door was locked.Lady Angkatell went on into her own room. She would have liked to have consulted Henry but later would do. She stood by her open window, looking out for a moment or two, then she yawned. She got into bed, laid her head on the pillow and in two minutes was sleeping like a child.In the bathroom the kettle came to the boil and went on boiling...
"Another kettle gone, Mr. Gudgeon," said Simmons, the housemaid.Gudgeon, the butler, shook his grey head.He took the burnt-out kettle from Simmons and, going into the pantry, produced another kettle from the bottom of the plate cupboard where he had a stock of half a dozen."There you are, Miss Simmons. Her ladyship will never know.""Does her ladyship often do this kind of thing?" asked Simmons.Gudgeon sighed."Her ladyship," he said, "is at once kind-hearted and very forgetful, if you know what I mean. But in this house," he continued, "I see to it that everything possible is done to spare her ladyship annoyance or worry."
Chapter 2
Henrietta Savernake rolled up a little strip of clay and patted it into place. She was building up the clay head of a girl with swift practised skill.In her ears, but penetrating only to the edge of her understanding, was the thin whine of a slightly common voice:"And I do think, Miss Savernake, that I was quite right! 'Really,' I said, 'if that's the line you're going to take!' Because I do think, Miss Savernake, that a girl owes it to herself to make a stand about these sort of things - if you know what I mean. 'I'm not accustomed,' I said, 'to having things like that said to me, and I can only say that you must have a very nasty imagination!' One does hate unpleasentness, but I do think I was right to make a stand, don't you, Miss Savernake?""Oh, absolutely," said Henrietta with a fervour in her voice which might have led someone who knew her well to suspect that she had not been listening very closely."'And if your wife says things of that kind,' I said, 'well, I'm sure I can't help it!' I don't know how it is, Miss Savernake, but it seems to be trouble wherever I go, and I'm sure it's not my fault. I mean, men are so susceptible, aren't they?" The model gave a coquettish little giggle."Frightfully," said Henrietta, her eyes half closed."Lovely," she was thinking. "Lovely that plane just below the eyelid - and the other plane coming up to meet it. That angle by the jaw's wrong... I must scrape off there and build up again. It's tricky."Aloud she said in her warm, sympathetic voice:"It must have been most difficult for you.""I do think jealousy's so unfair, Miss Savernake, and so narrow, if you know what I mean. It's just envy, if I may say so, because someone's better looking and younger than they are."Henrietta, working on the jaw, said absently, "Yes, of course."She had learned the trick, years ago, of shutting her mind into watertight compartments. She could play a game of bridge, conduct an intelligent conversation, write a clearly constructed letter, all without giving more than a fraction of her essential mind to the task. She was now completely intent on seeing the head of Nausicaa build itself up under her fingers, and the thin, spiteful stream of chatter issuing from those very lovely childish lips penetrated not at all into the deeper recesses of her mind. She kept the conversation going without effort. She was used to models who wanted to talk. Not so much the professional ones - it was the amateurs who, uneasy at their forced inactivity of limb, made up for it by bursting into garrulous self-revelation. So an inconspicuous part of Henrietta listened and replied, and, very far and remote, the real Henrietta commented: "Common, mean, spiteful little piece - but what eyes... Lovely, lovely, lovely eyes..."Whilst she was busy on the eyes, let the girl talk. She would ask her to keep silent when she got to the mouth. Funny when you came to think of it, that that thin stream of spite should come out through those perfect curves."Oh, damn," thought Henrietta with sudden frenzy. "I'm ruining that eyebrow arch! What the hell's the matter with it? I've over-emphasized the bone - it's sharp, not thick..."She stood back again, frowning from the clay to the flesh and blood sitting on the platform.Doris Sanders went on:"'Well,' I said, 'I really don't see why your husband shouldn't give me a present if he likes, and I don't think,' I said, 'you ought to make insinuations of that kind.' It was ever such a nice bracelet, Miss Savernake, reely quite lovely - and, of course, I daresay the poor fellow couldn't really afford it, but I do think it was nice of him, and I certainly wasn't going to give it back!""No, no," murmured Henrietta."And it's not as though there was anything between us - anything nasty, I mean - there was nothing of that kind.""No," said Henrietta, "I'm sure there wouldn't be." Her brow cleared. For the next half hour she worked in a kind of fury. Clay smeared itself on her forehead, clung to her hair, as she pushed an impatient hand through it. Her eyes had a blind intense ferocity. It was coming... she was getting it...Now, in a few hours, she would be out of her agony - the agony that had been growing upon her for the last ten days.Nausicaa - she had been haunted by Nausicaa, she had got up with Nausicaa and had breakfasted with Nausicaa and had gone out with Nausicaa. She had tramped the streets in a nervous, excitable restlessness, unable to fix her mind on anything but a beautiful blind face somewhere just beyond her mind's eye - hovering there just not able to be clearly seen. She had interviewed models, hesitated over Greek types, felt profoundly dissatisfied...She wanted something - something to give her the start - something that would bring her own already partially realized vision alive. She had walked long distances, getting physically tired out and welcoming the fact. And driving her, harrying her, was that urgent incessant longing - to see -There was a blind look in her own eyes as she walked. She saw nothing of what was around her. She was straining - straining the whole time to make that face come nearer... She felt sick, ill, miserable...And then, suddenly, her vision had cleared and with normal human eyes she had seen opposite her in the bus which she had boarded absentmindedly and with no interest in its destination - she had seen - yes, Nausicaa!A foreshortened childish face, half parted lips and eyes - lovely, vacant, blind eyes.The girl rang the bell and got out; Henrietta followed her.She was now quite calm and businesslike. She had got what she wanted - the agony of baffled search was over."Excuse me for speaking to you. I'm a professional sculptor and, to put it frankly, your head is just what I have been looking for."She was friendly, charming and compelling, as she knew how to be when she wanted something.Doris Sanders had been doubtful, alarmed, flattered."Well, I don't know, I'm sure. If it's just the head. Of course, I've never done that sort of thing!"Suitable hesitations, delicate financial inquiry."Of course, I should insist on your accepting the proper professional fee."And so here was Nausicaa, sitting on the platform, enjoying the idea of her attractions being immortalized (though not liking very much the examples of Henrietta's work which she could see in the studio!) and enjoying also the revelation of her personality to a listener whose sympathy and attention seemed to be so complete.On the table beside the model were her spectacles - the spectacles that she put on as seldom as possible, owing to vanity, preferring to feel her way almost blindly sometimes, since she admitted to Henrietta that without them she was so short-sighted that she could hardly see a yard in front of her.Henrietta had nodded comprehendingly. She understood now the physical reason for that blank and lovely stare.Time went on. Henrietta suddenly laid down her modelling tools and stretched her arms wide."All right," she said, "I've finished. I hope you're not too tired?""Oh, no, thank you, Miss Savernake. It's been very interesting, I'm sure. Do you mean it's really done - so soon?"Henrietta laughed."Oh, no, it's not actually finished. I still have to work on it quite a bit. But it's finished as far as you're concerned. I've got what I wanted - built up the planes."The girl came down slowly from the platform. She put on her spectacles and at once the blind innocence and vague confiding charm of the face vanished. There remained now an easy, cheap prettiness.She came to stand by Henrietta and look at the clay model."Oh," she said doubtfully, disappointment in her voice, "it's not very like me, is it?"Henrietta smiled."Oh, no, it's not a portrait."There was, indeed, hardly a likeness at all. It was the setting of the eyes - the line of the cheekbone - that Henrietta had seen as the essential keynote of her conception of Nausicaa. This was not Doris Sanders; it was a blind girl about whom a poem could be made. The lips were parted as Doris's were parted, but they were not Doris's lips. They were lips that would speak another language and would utter thoughts that were not Doris's thoughts -None of the features were clearly defined. It was Nausicaa remembered, not seen..."Well," said Miss Sanders doubtfully, "I suppose it'll look better when you've got on with it a bit... And you reely don't want me any more?""No, thank you," said Henrietta. ("And thank God I don't!" said her inner mind.) "You've been simply splendid. I'm very grateful."She got rid of Doris expertly and returned to make herself some black coffee. She was tired - she was horribly tired... But happy - happy and at peace."Thank goodness," she thought, "now I can be a human being again."And at once her thoughts went to John...John, she thought. Warmth crept into her cheeks, a sudden quick lifting of the heart made her spirits soar.Tomorrow, she thought, I'm going to The Hollow... I shall see John...She sat quite still, sprawled back on the divan, drinking down the hot strong liquid. She drank three cups of it... She felt vitality surging back...It feels nice, she thought, to be a human being again, not that other thing. Nice to have stopped feeling restless and miserable and driven. Nice to be able to stop walking about the streets unhappily, looking for something, and feeling irritable and impatient because, really, you didn't know what you were looking for! Now, thank goodness, there would be only hard work - and who minded hard work?She put down the empty cup and got up and strolled back to Nausicaa. She looked at the face for some time, and slowly a little frown crept between her brows.It wasn't - it wasn't quite -What was it that was wrong...Blind eyes...Blind eyes that were more beautiful than any eyes that could see... Blind eyes that tore at your heart because they were blind... Had she got that or hadn't she?She'd got it, yes - but she'd got something else as well. Something that she hadn't meant or thought about... The structure was all right - yes, surely. But where did it come from - that faint insidious suggestion...The suggestion, somewhere, of a common spiteful mind...She hadn't been listening, not really listening. Yet, somehow, in through her ears and out at her fingers, it had worked its way into the clay.And she wouldn't, she knew she wouldn't, be able to get it out again...Henrietta turned away sharply. Perhaps it was fancy. Yes, surely it was fancy. She would feel quite differently about it in the morning. She thought with dismay, how vulnerable one is.She walked, frowning, up to the end of the studio. She stopped in front of her figure of The Worshipper.That was all right - a lovely bit of pearwood, graining just right. She'd saved it up for ages, hoarding it.She looked at it critically. Yes, it was good, No doubt about that. The best thing she had done for a long time - it was for the International Group. Yes, quite a worthy exhibit.She'd got it all right; the humility, the strength in the neck muscles, the bowed shoulders, the slightly upraised face - a featureless face, since worship drives out personality - yes, submission, adoration - and that final devotion that is beyond, not this side, idolatry.Henrietta sighed. If only, she thought, John had not been so angry...It had startled her, that anger. It had told her something about him that he did not, she thought, know himself.He had said flatly, "You can't exhibit that!"And she had said, as flatly, "I shall."She went slowly back to Nausicaa. There was nothing there, she thought, that she couldn't put right. She sprayed it and wrapped it up in the damp cloths. It would have to stand over until Monday or Tuesday. There was no hurry now. The urgency had gone - all the essential planes were there. It only needed patience.Ahead of her were three happy days with Lucy and Henry and Midge - and John!She yawned, stretched herself like a cat stretches itself with relish and abandon, pulling out each muscle to its fullest extent. She knew suddenly how very tired she was.She had a hot bath and went to bed. She lay on her back staring at a star or two through the skylight. Then from there her eyes went to the one light she always left on, the small bulb that illuminated the glass mask that had been one of her earliest bits of work. Rather an obvious piece, she thought now. Conventional in its suggestion.Lucky, thought Henrietta, that one outgrew oneself...And now, sleep! The strong black coffee that she had drunk did not bring wakefulness in its train unless she wished it to do so. Long ago she had taught herself the essential rhythm that could bring oblivion at call.You took thoughts, choosing them out of your store, and then, not dwelling on them, you let them slip through the fingers of your mind, never clutching at them, never dwelling on them, no concentration... just letting them drift gently past...Outside in the Mews a car was being revved up - somewhere there was hoarse shouting and laughing. She took the sounds into the stream of her semi-consciousness -The car, she thought, was a tiger roaring... yellow and black... striped like the striped leaves - leaves and shadows - a hot jungle... and then down the river - a wide tropical river... to the sea and the liner starting... and hoarse voices calling good-bye - and John beside her on the deck... she and John starting - blue sea and down into the dining saloon - smiling at him across the table - like dinner at the Maison Doree - poor John, so angry!... out into the night air - and the car, the feeling of sliding in the gears - effortless, smooth, racing out of London... up over Shovel Down... the trees... tree worship... The Hollow... Lucy... John... John... Ridgeway's Disease... dear John...Passing into unconsciousness now, into a happy beautitude...And then some sharp discomfort, some haunting sense of guilt pulling her back. Something she ought to have done... Something that she had shirked...Nausicaa?Slowly, unwillingly, Henrietta got out of bed. She switched on the lights, went across to the stand and unwrapped the cloths.She took a deep breath.Not Nausicaa - Doris Sanders!A pang went through Henrietta. She was pleading with herself, "I can get it right - I can get it right...""Stupid," she said to herself. 'You know quite well what you've got to do."Because if she didn't do it now, at once - tomorrow she wouldn't have the courage. It was like destroying your flesh and blood. It hurt - yes, it hurt...Perhaps, thought Henrietta, cats feel like this when one of their kittens has something wrong with it and they kill it...She took a quick sharp breath, then she seized the clay, twisting it off the armature, carrying it, a large heavy lump, to dump it in the clay bin.She stood there, breathing deeply, looking down at her clay-smeared hands, still feeling the wrench to her physical and mental self. She cleaned the clay off her hands slowly.She went back to bed feeling a curious emptiness, yet a sense of peace.Nausicaa, she thought sadly, would not come again. She had been born, had been contaminated and had died...Queer, thought Henrietta, how things can seep into you without your knowing it...She hadn't been listening - not really listening - and yet knowledge of Doris's cheap, spiteful little mind had seeped into her mind and had, unconsciously, influenced her hands.And now the thing that had been Nausicaa - Doris - was only clay - just the raw material that would soon be fashioned into something else.Henrietta thought dreamily, is that, then, what death is? Is what we call personality just the shaping of it - the impress of somebody's thought? Whose thought? God's?That was the idea, wasn't it, of Peer Gynt? Back into the Button Moulder's ladle. Where am I, myself, the whole man, the true man? Where am I with God's mark upon my brow?Did John feel like that? He had been so tired the other night - so disheartened. Ridgeway's Disease... Not one of those books told you who Ridgeway was! Stupid, she thought, she would like to know... Ridgeway's Disease... John...
Chapter 3
John Christow sat in his consulting room seeing his last patient but one for that morning. His eyes, sympathetic and encouraging, watched her as she described - explained - went into details. Now and then he nodded his head understandingly. He asked questions, gave directions. A gentle glow pervaded the sufferer. Dr. Christow was really wonderful! He was so interested - so truly concerned. Even talking to him made one feel stronger.John Christow drew a sheet of paper towards him and began to write. Better give her a laxative, he supposed. That new American proprietary - nicely put up in cellophane and attractively coated in an unusual shade of salmon pink. Very expensive, too, and difficult to get - not every chemist stocked it. She'd probably have to go to that little place in Wardour Street. That would be all to the good - probably buck her up no end for a month or two, then he'd have to think of something else. There was nothing he could do for her. Poor physique and nothing to be done about it! Nothing to get your teeth into. Not like old Mother Crabtree...A boring morning. Profitable financially - but nothing else. God, he was tired! Tired of sickly women and their ailments. Palliation, alleviation - nothing to it but that. Sometimes he wondered if it was worth it... but always then he remembered St. Christopher's, and the long row of beds in the Margaret Russell Ward, and Mrs. Crabtree grinning up at him with her toothless smile.He and she understood each other! She was a fighter, not like that limp slug of a woman in the next bed. She was on his side, she wanted to live - though God knew why, considering the slum she lived in, with a husband who drank and a brood of unruly children, and she herself obliged to work day in day out, scrubbing endless floors of endless offices. Hard, unremitting drudgery and few pleasures! But she wanted to live - she enjoyed life - just as he, John Christow, enjoyed life! It wasn't the circumstances of life they enjoyed, it was life itself - the zest of existence. Curious - a thing one couldn't explain. He thought to himself that he must talk to Henrietta about that.He got up to accompany his patient to the door. His hand took hers in a warm clasp, friendly, encouraging. His voice was encouraging, too, full of interest and sympathy. She went away revived, almost happy. Dr. Christow took such an interest!As the door closed behind her, John Christow forgot her, he had really been hardly aware of her existence even when she had been there. He had just done his stuff. It was all automatic. Yet, though it had hardly ruffled the surface of his mind, he had given out strength. His had been the automatic response of the healer and he felt the sag of depleted energy.God, he thought again, I'm tired...Only one more patient to see and then the clear space of the weekend. His mind dwelt on it gratefully. Golden leaves tinged with red and brown, the soft moist smell of Autumn - the road down through the woods - the wood fires. Lucy, most unique and delightful of creatures - with her curious, elusive, will-o'-the-wisp mind. He'd rather have Henry and Lucy than any other host and hostess in England. And The Hollow was the most delightful house he knew. On Sunday he'd walk through the woods with Henrietta - up onto the crest of the hill and along the ridge. Walking with Henrietta he'd forget that there were any sick people in the world. Thank goodness, he thought, there's never anything the matter with Henrietta.And then with a sudden quick twist of humour, she'd never let on to me if there was!One more patient to see. He must press the bell on his desk... Yet, unaccountably, he delayed. Already he was late. Lunch would be ready upstairs in the dining room. Gerda and the children would be waiting. He must get on...Yet he sat there motionless. He was so tired - so very tired.It had been growing on him lately, this tiredness. It was at the root of the constantly increasing irritability which he was aware of but could not check. Poor Gerda, he thought, she has a lot to put up with... If only she was not so submissive - so ready to admit herself in the wrong when, half the time, it was he who was to blame! There were days when everything that Gerda said or did conspired to irritate him, and mainly, he thought ruefully, it was her virtues that irritated him. It was her patience, her unselfishness, her subordination of her wishes to his, that aroused his ill humour. And she never resented his quick bursts of temper, never stuck to her own opinion in preference to his, never attempted to strike out a line of her own.(Well, he thought, that's why you married her, isn't it? What are you complaining about? After that Summer at San Miguel.)Curious, when you came to think of it, that the very qualities that irritated him in Gerda, were the qualities he wanted so badly to find in Henrietta. What irritated him in Henrietta - (no, that was the wrong word - it was anger, not irritation, that she inspired) - what angered him there was Henrietta's unswerving rectitude where he was concerned. It was so at variance with her attitude to the world in general. He had said to her once:"I think you are the greatest liar I know.""Perhaps.""You are always willing to say anything to people if only it pleases them.""That always seems to me more important.""More important than speaking the truth?""Much more.""Then why, in God's name, can't you lie a little more to me?""Do you want me to?""Yes.""I'm sorry, John, but I can't.""You must know so often what I want you to say -"Come now, he mustn't start thinking of Henrietta. He'd be seeing her this very afternoon. The thing to do now was to get on with things! Ring the bell and see this last damned woman. Another sickly creature! One tenth genuine ailment and nine tenths hypochondria! Well, why shouldn't she enjoy ill health if she cared to pay for it? It balanced the Mrs. Crabtrees of this world.But still he sat there motionless.He was tired - he was so very tired. It seemed to him that he had been tired for a very long time. There was something he wanted - wanted badly.And there shot into his mind the thought: I want to go home.It astonished him. Where had that thought come from? And what did it mean? Home? He had never had a home. His parents had been Anglo-Indians, he had been brought up, bandied about from aunt to uncle, one set of holidays with each. The first permanrnt home he had had, he supposed, was this house in Harley Street.Did he think of this house as home? He shook his head. He knew that he didn't.But his medical curiosity was aroused. What had he meant by that phrase that had flashed out suddenly in his mind?I want to go home...There must be something - some image...He half closed his eyes - there must be some background.And very clearly, before his mind's eye, he saw the deep blue of the Mediterranean Sea, the palms, the cactus and the prickly pear; he smelt the hot Summer dust, and remembered the cool feeling of the water after lying on the beach in the sun. San Miguel!He was startled - a little disturbed. He hadn't thought of San Miguel for years. He certainly didn't want to go back there. All of that belonged to a past chapter in his life.That was twelve - fourteen - fifteen years ago. And he'd done the right thing! His judgment had been absolutely right! He'd been madly in love with Veronica but it wouldn't have done. Veronica would have swallowed him body and soul. She was the complete egoist and she had made no bones about admiring it! Veronica had grabbed most things that she wanted but she hadn't been able to grab him! He'd escaped. He had, he supposed, treated her badly from the conventional point of view. In plain words, he had jilted her! But the truth was that he intended to live his own life, and that was a thing that Veronica would not have allowed him to do. She intended to live her life and carry John along as an extra.She had been astonished when he had refused to come with her to Hollywood.She had said disdainfully:"If you really want to be a doctor you can take a degree over there, I suppose, but it's quite unnecessary. You've got enough to live on, and I shall be making heaps of money."And he had replied vehemently:"But I'm keen on my profession. I'm going to work with Radley."His voice - a young, enthusiastic voice - was quite awed. Veronica sniffed."That funny snuffy old man?""That funny snuffy old man," John had said angrily, "has done some of the most valuable research work on Pratt's disease -"She had interrupted: Who cared for Pratt's disease? California, she said, was an enchanting climate. And it was fun to see the world. She added: "I shall hate it without you. I want you, John - I need you."And then he had put forward the, to Veronica, amazing suggestion that she should turn down the Hollywood offer and marry him and settle down in London.She was amused and quite firm! She was going to Hollywood, and she loved John, and John must marry her and come, too. She had had no doubts of her beauty and of her power.He had seen that there was only one thing to be done and he had done it. He had written to her breaking off the engagement.He had suffered a good deal, but he had had no doubts as to the wisdom of the course he had taken. He'd come back to London and started work with Radley and a year later he had married Gerda, who was as unlike Veronica in every way as it was possible to be.